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23 Dark AF Bathroom Products To Match Your Soul

Whatever you do, don't look in the mirror.

We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

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1. A set of flameless LED candles to cast an eerie seance-like glow.

amazon.com

Get a six-pack from Amazon for $11.75.

2. A shower curtain with a sketchy person who apparently showers wearing clothes?!?!!?

spirithalloween.com

Get it from Spirit Halloween for $16.99.

3. And a shower curtain with the after effects of the dangerous business of showering in your clothes.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $5.36.

4. A helping hand who can hold onto your rings while you wash your hands.

modcloth.com

Get it on ModCloth for $39.99.

5. Black bath towels to help suck up the natural light AND hide any mascara stains.

amazon.com

Get them from Amazon for $17.99.

6. A ~colorful~ bath bomb so you can put your mind at ease.

etsy.com

Get it from The Mad Bombers on Etsy for $10.

7. A toilet buddy in case you need a bathroom companion.

spirithalloween.com

Get it from Spirit Halloween for $12.99.

8. A coffin bath caddy as a spot to park all your soak essentials, like a bleeding candle, red "wine," a scary read, and the like.

etsy.com

Get it from Life After Death Designs on Etsy for $65+ (available in several finishes, two styles).

9. A pair of red LED bulbs to transform a wash room into a water closet of doom.

amazon.com

Get them from Amazon for $7.60.

10. A skeletal bathroom attendant who just wants to lend a bony hand.

amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $13.54.

11. And a roll of bloody toilet paper for when your mother-in-law comes to visit. (That's how those jokes work, right?)

amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $5.34.

12. A sinister shower curtain with some fellas who look like they wanna go all medieval on your ass.

amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $29.95+ (available in three sizes).

13. An unassuming bar of soap that'll make people think you slipped them something.

spirithalloween.com

it's not fucking around if it's marked Ages 14+.

Get it from Spirit Halloween for $2.99.

14. A trio of creepers you can nestle on a window ledge or towel shelf to light your path to the toilet.

worldmarket.com

Get them from World Market for $44.97.

15. A door cover with an undead gentleman who's just asking for some damn privacy.

spirithalloween.com

Get it from Spirit Halloween for $5.99.

16. A palatable soap and dead-on soap dish.

etsy.com

Get them from Gloom Matter on Etsy: three-pack of human tongue soap for $18, soap dish for $28, toothbrush holder for $28, and doll head candle holder for $28.

17. A temporary toilet tat to deter folks from using your porcelain throne.

spirithalloween.com

Get it from Spirit Halloween for $4.99.

18. A bathroom door sticker that proves we're all equal, jumbled masses of flesh anyway so everyone's welcome in here — even if you're missing your head.

amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $4.25.

19. A white bath mat with stains that won't come out in the wash like every other white thing in your bathroom that you bleach.

amazon.com

Admit it, that's why you buy white shit. (I do.)

Get it from Amazon for $16.47.

20. A floral shower curtain that's anything but Laura Ashley.

amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $29.95.

21. A bird skull cabinet pull for some afterlife aviary help on your bathroom vanity.

amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $24.

22. A toilet brush set as a reminder that it's only through death we can escape cleaning.

amazon.com

Get it from Amazon for $38.90.

23. A toilet sticker that's going to scar your kids for life.

amazon.com

Hope your insurance covers therapy.

Get it from Amazon for $3.50.

Now fighting for the bathroom will become a whole other level.

Paramount Pictures

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