Elizabeth B.

Dan, are you harassin my table? Tell them I'm standin right here! Good evenin, how you - OHH, DO YOU SMELL THAT? It smells like PEPPA up in here! Straight up, it's like somebody put a big ol' pile of peppa in the room and then sprayed that mess with hairspray and light that junk on FIRE. It smells like a Pepper Inferno! Heyyy, my name is Mark Payne and I will NOT be your server tonight, straight up, I will be your everything girrrl. I will not be your waiter, because Mark Payne does not serve. I will not be your server because Mark Payne don't serve anyone but the Lord Jesus Christ, okayyy, you heard? Well let's get down to brass tacks, shall we. We got over four different flavors of soda! Can you believe that? We got brown ones and sure enough we got clear ones okayyy... Oh I ain't gonna get you a soda... No, I'm gonna get you a water because soda is bad for your weakass teeth. And water ain't but right over here! Straight up, it's so close you can wave to it... Here you go, drink that with yo mouth. I'll be back in three blinks of a lamb's eye... OH, HOW DO YOU NOT SMELL THAT PEPPA? Straight up, it is like someone hit me over the head with a lead pipe and then dragged me to an establishment that only sold two things: PEPPA, and a FAN to blow that pepper around the room. It's blowin around the room like that bag in that movie... Oh my god, you know that famous bag... So can I get you some cheese sticks? Because if you like cheese, you will enjoy them because they are 99% cheese. And if you DON'T like cheese, I suggest you eat a bowl of hair because you are a dummy. You ain't gotta worry about peppa, pepper ain't never killed nobody. HOW DO YOU NOT SMELL THAT PEPPER? It is like the Pepper Monster from LOST left the island and made a beeline straight up into this Pizzer-iah Uno. Yall got a cell phone? Call Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt. Tell 'em we got a class five Pepper Twister on our hands! Where you going? It's an old reference but it still holds up...

• Website