Elfieloves

If I wrote for Buzzfeed, this is what my thoughts on a train would look like!... Why am I always on a train? Why does everyone else on the train always wear flawless finish foundation & perfectly winged eyeliner? You are on a train! How did you have time to get ready before the train dash! Don't people not just throw make up in their bag, intent on doing it later! Maybe I should get some heels. I really need heels. Now I'm not with Jay, I can wear heels and feel tall & full of power. Whilst not wearing heels (for 3 years, people! 3 years!), I kinda forgot why I wasn't wearing them (love! I remember! I didn't want him to feel small!) I actually began to think I must have some weird spinal condition or wonky foot meaning I officially couldn't wear heels! Since I don't have any foot or spine affliction, I could maybe start wearing heels again, I imagine! Oh the couple next to me are kissing. Kinda yuck. Maybe I should think about getting married. To someone. I'm not sure who, but I notice everyone on the train is married. Or engaged. They have ROCKS! Even the girl opposite me who looks about 4. Oh she is 4. It's a plastic ring. But her mum looks about 14. She's probably married too. Maybe I should put some make up on. I have a table. It could be like a Hollywood starlets vanity table if I start littering it with glitter pots and vintage blush. Oh, maybe I should have been an actress in real Hollywood films?! I'd only have to do my make up on a train then if it was for a scene? What scene though?! I know! I could write the scene! Harry Potter was written on a train! Yeah, I could at least write books that are turned into Hollywood films! I'd probably better not get married yet. I don't know anyone cool or intriguing enough to be married to a Hollywood writer. Phew! Glad I realised that! I could have ended up with some kind but dull school teacher I'd get bored with after a few years! I'll put my make up on and charge my phone. Shit! Where is my phone?! I saw it! It must be somewhere in my stupid, bottomless bag. Everyone else is carrying a Mulberry. Why do the plugs on the right side of a train never work?! It must be some weird electrical thing on the right side of a train cause it's always happening. I can't be on the exact same train every time I get on a train. Can I? Noooo! Just shut up!! Where are we?! Oh, it's my stop next. Sake. That was quick. I haven't even done my make up!

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