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28 Things You Totally Need In Your Closet Si Hablas Español

¡Si puedes entender esto, entonces necesitas todo en esta lista!

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1. A crewneck T-shirt designed with a gorgeous soliloquy of exactly how you process all your thoughts.

2. A cozy sweatshirt so you can show everyone the correct spelling of your favorite movie. (You can wear it while you parquear the car in el parking when you go ver el show in el shopping — just don't forget to Googlear the movie times and get el ticket before they sell out.)

3. A gold-plated necklace that'll be the perfect little token to remind you everything is going to be okay.

4. An enamel pin you can probably hear when you see it, because let's be serious — those damn commercials played every 20 seconds on Univision and Telemundo.

5. A super-soft T-shirt that, when translated, means idiots should probably leave you alone...forever.

6. A gold-plated pin you're gonna have to wear when you're celebrating the awesomeness of being bilingual.

7. An embroidered baseball cap, because chances are your mom is gonna say it to you anyway...might as well make it easy for her to read it off your head.

8. A jersey knit tee emblazoned with the baddest b!%@# in the land — who should, honestly, be everyone's Spanish teacher!

9. A very classic tee, because chisme does a body good and you're proof of that.

10. A delightful T-shirt so you can wear this Spanish-language pun — maybe even wear it when you're running after the elotero/a.

11. A crewneck T-shirt you need to 100% buy for your mother right this second — like, go! Now!!

12. A handy little tote with the words your parents probably whispered to you when you didn't walk into a house saludando everyone.

13. An adorable onesie for the coolest trilingual baby you know — they speak English, Spanish, and Googoogaga.

14. A unisex T-shirt por que si you speak los dos, Español and English — y sometimes you speak them at el mismo tiempo.

15. A classic mercado tote, because let's face it: You are your mother's daughter, and you're gonna need this to carry the baggage that comes with that realization.

16. A purple-enamel and gold-plated pin perfect for giving you the encouragement you need.

17. A cozy kids tee, because Chespirito. That's all, you don't need another reason.

18. A cotton T-shirt so everyone knows damn well you are not Becky with the good hair.

19. A crewneck tee to share with your ride-or-die, because they're way more than just a bestie — they're your comadre!

20. A cool AF T-shirt so everyone knows all your amazing traits — the fact that they all start with a B is just a coincidence.

21. A sparkly enamel pin to remind you of the greatest fear that ever roamed your home: the threat associated with open-toe footwear.

22. A perfect and comfy T-shirt, because you have no shame in your game (nor should you)!

23. A pre-shrunk cotton tank to let everyone know you're just f#@%ing tired of their bitching.

24. A simple T-shirt for when your tia greets you with, "Y tu novio?"

25. A classic cotton tee, because sometimes you're feeling punny and sometimes you're not.

26. A tote bag about Latinx parties, but honestly this is true of any party spinning those Spanish-language hits — just close your eyes and tell me you don't hear the thumping beats and sweet, sweet serenade of Elvis Crespo.

27. A cotton twill baseball cap to let everyone know how you'd like to be spoken to.

28. And a splurgeworthy jacket for when you're ready to mueve, mueve la cintura.

You, next time someone tries acting like they're so smart!

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