It's been some time since the release of Barbie, but I'm not over all the hilarious and uplifting quotes from the film. Here are my top 41 favorite quotes, including the funniest roundup of Ken lines, and Gloria's heartwarming and powerful monologue.
1. "Every night is girls' night.” —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
2. "How can I be a fascist? I don't control the railways or the flow of commerce." —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
3. "There are no multiples of Allan. He’s just Allan.” —Narrator (Helen Mirren)
4. "She's not dying, she's just having an existential crisis." —Gloria (America Ferrera)
5. "I'm a liberated man. I know crying's not weak." —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
6. "Midge was Barbie's pregnant friend. Let's not show Midge, actually. She was discontinued by Mattel because a pregnant doll is just too weird." —Narrator (Helen Mirren)
7. "By giving voice to the cognitive dissonance required to be a woman under the patriarchy, you've robbed it of its power." —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
8. "So you're like 'Barbie' Barbie? Like a professional bimbo?" —Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt)
9. "That's because they're dream houses, motherf*cker." —President Barbie (Issa Rae)
10. "I'm just Ken." —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
11. "No, no, no, no. I'm not a sugar daddy. This is Sugar, and I'm her daddy." —Sugar Daddy Ken (Rob Brydon)
12. "Shredding waves is much more dangerous than people realize." —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
13. "All of NSYNC? Allans!" —Allan (Michael Cera)
14. "You're kenough." —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
15. "We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they've come." —Ruth (Rhea Perlman)
16. "To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't just about horses, I lost interest." —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
17. "Oh, look, a construction site. We need that good feminine energy." —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
18. "You should heal up in no time. Actually, in the time that it took for me to say that sentence, you healed." —Barbie (Hari Nef)
19. "Please call me mother." —Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell)
20. "Women are at the foundation of this company! There was a female CEO in the '90s and then another one...at some point. So that's two right there!" —Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell)
21. "We have to always be extraordinary but somehow we’re always doing it wrong." —Gloria (America Ferrera)
22. “I will beach both of you off at the same time!” —Ken (Simu Liu)
23. *Walking away* "Sublime!" —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
24. "Her ghost keeps an office on the 17th floor." —Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell)
25. "You guys are not doing patriarchy very well." —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
26. "You have to be their mommies but not remind them of their mommy. Any power you have must be masked under a giggle." —Gloria (America Ferrera)
27. "I can do the splits. I have a funky haircut and I smell like basement." —Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon)
28. "You're so beautiful." —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
29. "I'd like to see what nude blob he's packing under those jeans." –Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon)
30. "I do not have a vagina and he does not have a penis. We have no genitals." —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
31. "I’m here to see my gynecologist!” —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
32. “Barbie is a doctor, and a lawyer, and so much more than that.” —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
33. *Screaming* "FLAT FEET!" —Barbie (Hari Nef)
34. "Fine, get cellulite. I don't care." —Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon)
35. "Does the label 'long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend' mean nothing to her?" —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
36. "You can tell them you’ve never seen The Godfather, and that you'd love them to explain it to you.” —Gloria (America Ferrera)
37. "I'm trained to stand confidently here." —Ken (Ryan Gosling)
38. "I'm sensing some kind of entendre here...and it appears to be double." —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
39. "You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining." —Gloria (America Ferrera)
40. "Do you guys ever think about dying?" —Barbie (Margot Robbie)
41. And, finally, this list wouldn't be complete without Gloria's big speech to Margot Robbie's Barbie. It's too hard to pick my favorite part, so I'm just gonna give you the whole, glorious thing:
"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.
It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."