Ruby Rose And Nina Dobrev's Advice For Women Is All You'll Ever Need
The stars of xXx: Return of Xander Cage were armed with some pretty wise words.
There's no question that Ruby Rose and Nina Dobrev play some pretty damn badass women, and their characters in their new movie, xXx: Return of Xander Cage, are no exception. So when BuzzFeed had the chance to meet up with Ruby and Nina to promote the movie, we asked them to share their wisdom by answering your questions. And their answers definitely didn't disappoint...
1. If you could give one piece of advice to women in their twenties, what would it be? – charleyl4b5b8ca1a
Nina Dobrev: Get through them and get to your thirties, ‘cause it’s so much better then. [laughs]
Ruby Rose: I was literally going to say the same thing! Wait, are you 30?
ND: No, but I feel like my soul is 30. I feel like I’ve lived – and drank enough – to be beyond 30 ... The reason I said that, and I’m sure you’ll agree, is that the older you get, you start to care less, in a good way. You know what you care about, the important things, and then the little things that used to bug you are insignificant at that point. It just gets easier, and you don’t have to fuss about everything. Life is just happier.
RR: Yeah, if we’re going to answer questions like real adults – thanks, Nina – then I would just say be kinder to yourself. Just be a little bit more gentle with yourself, and you’ll realise why later.
2. What advice would you give to all the girls who struggle with feeling insecure about their body? – giulsciula
ND: I think it goes back to the same thing…
RR: Be 30?! No, don’t, because your body is banging at 20!
ND: That is so true! If I could’ve told the 20-year-old version of me to appreciate my body at the time… You always zero in on something, everyone has insecurities ... You’ll end up realising that it was so tiny and stupid and insignificant, and you’ll end up loving it. In fact, my insecurities are now my quirks, and I love all those things more. The flaws are what make you beautiful, in my opinion.
RR: Yeah. You just have to trust that everything you’ve been given is a tool. It’s not there to hinder you. Your body is such an amazing thing – you can make it strong, you can make it agile, you can do all these things with it. It literally gives you life. So if you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, you just have to remind yourself how much your body is doing, how much you create in this world, and how much power you have as a person.
3. I feel like in our society there is pressure put on women (especially celebrities) to compete against each other, and to see one another as enemies rather than as allies. How do you handle that? – thedinosaursfoundedamerica
ND: I think that’s changed. I don’t think it’s the same any more. In our film, one of the themes I love so much is that we have a lot of powerful, strong, confident women who are intelligent – it’s not just because they’re beautiful that they’re here, but they have a purpose of their own. In fact, although there’s tension between some of the women at the beginning, the journey is that they end up realising that they need each other and they’re ultimately stronger together.
RR: They realise that they can accept each other’s differences. You know, maybe they don’t agree on certain things, or they got off to a bad start, but they realise that if they work together they’re going to be stronger. It’s kind of one of the best things, watching them put their ego aside for the greater good.
RR: Going back to something I said earlier – just being kinder and gentler on yourself. It’s great to have good friends, it’s great to have a supportive family, it’s awesome to have fantastic co-workers, but you don’t always necessarily have that. Growing up, I was just so hard on myself, and I look back now and wonder why I put myself through all that.
We’re all on these journeys, and we all have these wonderful places that we’ll be going in life. They’ll be up and they’ll be down, but they’re all lessons, and they essentially create who we are going to be as people. I think that’s probably the greatest thing I’ve learned.
ND: Gosh, I hate following you.
RR: That’s why I always try and speak first. [laughs]
ND: I think heartbreak is the best kind of lesson you can learn. It taught me to be so much more compassionate, it taught me to be so much more aware of my surroundings, and it made me a stronger person as a result. As much as it sucked at the time, surviving it, and becoming the woman I am after it, has been the greatest thing that I’ve learned.
5. Do you have any tips on not feeling like you need someone else to make you happy? – 22tribulations
ND: I’m going first! I think it’s incredibly important for every person to have their own thing going on. You have to have your own hobbies, because whether it’s a professional relationship or a partnership of love, you’re going to be disappointed if you rely on another person. You have to be content with your own being as well.
RR: I was gonna say just listen to a Taylor Swift album, and it’ll totally help you understand how great it is to love thyself. [laughs]
I think there’s a beauty in being happy alone. When you really, truly know yourself, and you’ve worked on the parts of yourself that you weren’t comfortable being alone with, then you’ll have time for the fullest, best version of yourself. That means that the people you attract into your life after that are going to be at a different kind of level as well. It’s hard to love somebody else, and let somebody else in, if you don’t love yourself. It’s cliché, but it really is true.
6. You both seem to be living your best lives. How do you brush aside hateful comments and not let them get to you? – victoriaw4b727f786
ND: I think you have to take it with a grain of salt, because when you think about it, the internet is somewhat of a gigantic high school. It’s high school beyond high school. It never really changes, it just changes the medium. It’s as much of a lesson for us in our industry as it is for girls and kids: You have to ignore it, you have to be the bigger person and know that what you’re doing is right for you, even though it might not be for somebody else.
RR: When I get them – of course, I usually try and brush it off, it doesn’t usually penetrate this force – but once you’ve heard it all before a million times, you’re just kind of like, I'm living my life, I’m having a great time, I have great friends, a great family, two really weird dogs, I couldn’t ask for anything more. Nothing that someone who doesn’t know me, that’s in the shape of an egg on the internet, says can offend me.
It comes down to ticking the boxes – am I happy with who I am as a person? Am I a good person? Am I a good daughter, or girlfriend, or co-worker, or dog owner? Whatever it is that you are, if you’re happy with the way you do those things, then that’s all you need to do.
ND: There was a video once where they told you “don’t do drugs”, that was good advice.
RR: My mum gave me some advice when I was younger and I was getting bullied a lot. I was struggling with a great deal, and she kept reminding me that success is the best form of revenge. It’s not necessarily something I would go by now, because “revenge” sounds like you’ve got a vendetta. That got me as far as it needed to get me, and then I forgot and got over it all.
ND: You just reminded me, my mom did tell me one thing… Many things, but the one that’s sticking at this moment in time, for some reason, is that she told me to be nice to the people on your way up, because you’ll definitely be seeing them on your way down.
RR: Ooh, that is a good one. She told you that?!
ND: Yeah. I guess she thought I was a little asshole.