1.
gambling is so fun it’s like chucky cheese but like losing your house help someone stop me
2.
something that i'm really proud of myself for is my ability to be able to digest food
3.
People on flights love ginger ale
4.
i literally just peed myself on accident what the fuck i was just standing in an elevator and PEED
5.
I feel like it hasn’t been Tuesday in forever
6.
check on yourself as much as you check instagram
7.
um i just found a spider in my bra. i may or may shoot web from my breasts soon. stay tuned. spiderboob homecoming
8.
height is so weird if u really think about it.. like.. some people just get bigger than others
9.
spending my sunday thinking about the chaotic energy of tyra banks
10.
EVERY STORE IS OUT OF DIET AW ROOT BEER AND IM STARTING TO BREAK 😩😰
11.
Bitch I can’t believe it’s 2019......it took me 6 months to finally realize 🧐😳
12.
i haven’t had sex since last time i had sex bro wtffffff
13.
Don’t worry bout nothing cause everyone has seen how small my penis is and I’m still chillin
14.
so how do parrots work
15.
journaling is just gossiping with your future self
16.
Skirts make me feel like a sexy sausage
17.
Being a human is wild