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    Do Not, I Repeat, Do NOT Go To Finland — Here's Why

    Sorry, but I kind of need this Nordic wonderland all to myself.

    1. What I'm saying is: if you're into perfectly sweeping landscapes, Finland just isn't for you.

    2. Trust me on this — the whole country is honestly just one big frozen, lifeless tundra.

    3. It's most definitely NOT the winter wonderland of your dreams...

    4. And especially not one that has like, actual real life reindeer, or anything.

    5. Yup, wildlife enthusiasts should STAY. AWAY.

    6. I'm just not convinced gorgeous coniferous forests are your thing, you know?

    7. Plus, there's this weird tradition where everyone goes to out to their summer cottage for the weekend, even though I can't imagine why.

    8. I mean, who's into this kind of rustic fantasy getaway? WHO??

    9. Seems stressful, imho.

    10. And don't even get me started on the Finnish architecture — it's really just a lot of little ol' churches.

    11. None of it is as cozy as it looks, I promise.

    12. There's just not a whole lot to look at out there.

    13. It's just some stars and stuff, okay??

    14. I feel like a hot, steamy sauna just isn't as life-changing as it seems...

    15. And do you REALLY want to go swimming in a boring ol' lake?

    18. Finland is just a really gray and bland place to be — not good for the 'gram, I promise you.

    17. Plus, they eat these things called "cloudberries" over there — literally, cloud-shaped berries – which sound way too magical and therefore highly suspect.

    19. From what I hear, it's just one big, miserable blizzard over there, especially in the capital, Helsinki.

    20. Who would EVER want to go to there?

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some browsing on Finnair to do...

    This post was translated from French.