3. When he had deep thoughts while biting this straw.
I’ll be the straw, you’ll be the tall drink of water.
4. When he sat on the side of the road while cradling this gun.
Strike me now, Cupid.
5. When he gently pet this dog.
Throw me a bone here.
6. When he looked totally unimpressed in this helmet.
The back of your head is ridiculous.
7. When he was completely over it while leaning on this desk.
Is that a pencil or are you just happy to see me?
8. When he clenched this sock.
Throw me in the hamper, I’m done.
11. When he lounged on this lawn chair.
I would even be that charred cooler.
15. When he carried a baby while he carried this present.
Slap a bow on me.
16. When he was sitting next to this lava lamp.
And those dangling lights. And that green blanket.
17. When he had a deep moment on this pool table.
Cue the rally girls.
18. When he did push-ups on this astro turf.
Never thought you’d be jealous of astro turf did you?
23. When he closed his eyes and drank this beer.
24. When he sat in the yard and drank this beer.
- An earthquake that struck central Italy Wednesday has killed at least 73 people, officials say. 150 people are still missing.
- Turkish forces have launched an offensive to help Syrian rebels take the border town of Jarabulus from ISIS and keep it out of Kurdish hands.
- And Donald Trump has often claimed to be "the largest real estate developer in New York." He isn't.