1. Drunk-edit Wikipedia. 2. Complain about people in your life without their knowledge. 3. Act as if you never got your friend's messages. 4. Pretend to be a cat. 5. Ask for questionable advice. 6. Solicit sympathy. 7. Or act cool. 8. Write horrible Amazon and Yelp reviews. Follow Drew's comics at Toothpaste For Dinner, or in our ComicsFeed series.