Why Pumpkin Season Is The Most Needlessly Tragic Time Of The Year

Life is hard.

1. Pumpkin Season… It’s that time of year that we used to call fall or autumn

You know, the trees… the leaves change color and then drop to the ground and then you jump in the leaves?

2. It’s also the time of year to be eating this lovely pumpkin pie

Hooray! Pie!

3. But pumpkin isn’t just for pie anymore

For better or worse

4. It starts innocently enough… You walk into Starbucks and you are all like, “OMG… PSL… YOLO”

5. You blow up your Instagram


6. You take your first sip of the season and you lose it


7. The next time you head to your local grocer, it feels like a carnival of pumpkin

12. Etc., Etc., Etc.


13. You are, no doubt, constantly bombarded with this emotion

14. And pumpkin products show up everywhere

15. At the donut shop…

16. At the burger joint…

17. On your television…

18. At the spa…

20. Suddenly, you can no longer tolerate all of this pumpkin business

It’s too much.

21. But, before you know it… its all been replaced by peppermint, gingerbread and eggnog

22. Gingerbread marshmallows…

24. Candy cane everything…

25. Sure, this stuff is great, but Pumpkin Season… Right?


26. But it has all gone away; you are all like…

What happened?!

27. All you wanted was a little pumpkin moderation… not no pumpkin at all

28. Then it hits you… these pumpkin products don’t have to be seasonal

Firstly, pumpkin often is canned. Second, a lot of these products don’t even include pumpkin, but the spices that usually accompany pumpkin in a pie. Finally, a lot more use artificial flavors… are there seasons in the food flavor lab? No!

29. And you are left thinking that the end of Pumpkin Season is the world’s most needless tragedy

First world problems…

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