30 Things You Thought You’d Understand By Age 30

When does that “wisdom” thing kick in?

1. How to do your job properly.

AMC

Luckily, “fake it till you make it” is still working.

2. How to flirt without acting like a dweebazoid.

A&E / Via aetv.tumblr.com

3. Men. (Even if you are a man.)

New World Pictures

4. Women. (Especially if you are a woman.)

5. How to decorate like a grown-up.

HBO

Where are all of the classy pillows and trinkets you were supposed to acquire?

6. How to handle hangovers.

Paramount Pictures

Even though you’re a classier drunk, hangovers actually seem to be getting worse.

7. Patience.

Walt Disney / Via folly-polly.tumblr.com

It’s a virtue you haven’t quite figured out yet.

8. Why you’re drawn to the wrong people.

9. The secret of a long-lasting relationship.

Universal Pictures

Is it really possible to be with someone forever without driving them insane?

10. What the stock market even is.

Paramount Pictures

There are bears and bulls, and now apparently wolves.

11. Why some friendships shouldn’t last forever.

The CW

12. Whether or not you’re really fit to be a parent.

Universal Pictures / Via woundsintowisdomm.tumblr.com

13. Why your body works against you.

What’s a metabolism? And why does hair insist on migrating south?

14. Why you always dance like a fool when Beyoncé comes on.

Walt Disney / Via gifboom.com

You’re embarrassing you.

15. What the heck you should be eating.

It seems every year the FDA comes up with something else that’s bad for you.

16. How to convince yourself to work out more often than just the first week of each year.

17. Why you suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.

HBO / Via picstopin.com

That’s still a thing.

18. The art of being a sex god/goddess.

ABC / Via goodreads.com

19. How to properly prioritize the things that truly matter to you.

20. How to dress age-appropriately.

Walt Disney / Via tjcarr.tumblr.com

So, no miniskirts?

21. What “401(k)” even means.

Nickelodeon

Is this some sudoku acronym?

22. Why good equity comes from having more houses than cars.

AMC

23. Why you still can’t afford multiple houses AND cars.

ABC / Via wlth.com

24. The anatomy of the perfect cover letter/résumé.

25. Networking.

Warner Bros.

“Hi, I do stuff. What stuff do you do?”

26. How to speak another language.

Twentieth Century Fox / Via paulyneviapiana.tumblr.com

Instead your Rosetta Stone is just collecting dust.

27. How to do all kinds of buildin’ and fixin’.

ABC

Or any, really.

28. Love.

Twentieth Century Fox

But you’ll continue to explain yourself with song lyrics until you do.

29. Moderation.

It’s not necessary to eat five pieces of pizza just because it’s free.

30. Your purpose.

Universal Pictures / Via thegloss.com

WHY ARE WE EVEN HERE?!

But it’s all good! You’ll definitely understand these things by 40.

Showtime / Via reactiongifs.us

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