These 12 Vintage Medical Devices Will Give You Nightmares

In case going to the doctor wasn’t scary enough.

1. Rectal dilators

Prescribed to cure “nervousness.”

2. Sun-protecting mask

Why wear sunblock when you can wear a creepy Halloween mask?

3. Anti-masturbation codpiece

Because there was a time when excessive ejaculation — or “spermatorrhea,” as it was called — was thought to be detrimental to your health.

4. A portable respirator for polio

Incorporated a special nylon fabric developed for climbing Mount Everest!

5. Cervical contraceptive cap

Sits over the cervix to prevent sperm from entering the uterus.

6. Ice-cube mask to cure hangovers

Bloody Mary not included.

7. “Vibra-Finger” gum massager

I wonder how many people actually used this for its intended purpose?

8. Facial scar concealers

Because no one will notice.

9. Vaginal speculum

This sleek bronze model is said to be from ancient Rome.

10. Masks worn by doctors during the Plague

Typically filled with sweet-smelling substances like lavender.

11. Blood-letting device

Because leeches are for sadists.

12. The “jugum penis” anti-erection device

Designed to prevent nocturnal spermatorrhea, this boner bear trap would wake a male sleeper if he ever got an erection. Schwing!

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