Alternate Names For Washington's Football Team

With the revocation of the "R*dskins" patents, maybe Dan Snyder should consider these alternate, less offensive names.

The Washington Federalists

Via cp91279.biography.com

It was James Madison's suggestion that the nation's capital be separate from the other states in the Federalist Papers that lead to D.C.'s creation in the first place. Dan Snyder says he's interested in preserving history, so how about honoring some history that isn't racist?

The Washington Sandstone

Via westernjournalism.com

When the British burned the capitol during the War of 1812, the sandstone in the White House remained standing. Sturdy, tough, and strong: what a great name for a football team.

The Washington Potomac

Via upload.wikimedia.org

It's one of the largest rivers on the Atlantic coast and it flows right through Washington. This stuff writes itself.

The Washington Generals

Via img.groundspeak.com

Why not give your team a powerful, aggressive moniker that also references the namesake of the entire city? General George Washington would be honored.

The Washington Independence

Via ak2.picdn.net

Washington has the opportunity to have the most patriotic team names in the country. Snacking on a hot dog, enjoying some apple pie, and cheering for the Washington Independence just sounds right.

The Washington Union

Via upload.wikimedia.org

Americans are more divided than ever. The football team in our nation's capital should take a step to remind us of togetherness. D.C. United has a better ring to it, but that's apparently taken by a soccer team. What a waste.

The Washington Filibusters

Via upload.wikimedia.org

...or maybe Washington Union is too touchy feely for you. Well, how about the Filibusters? It represents a team that refuses to back down no matter how hopeless the situation may seem.

The Washington New Deal

Via media.npr.org

Either way, changing Washington's team name will be a big step in the right direction when it comes to our country's treatment of Native Americans, so why not recognize that new leaf by naming Washington the New Deal after FDR's famous reform package?

The D.C. Command

Via media.salon.com

The Commander in Chief lives in Washington. There isn't a more intimidating title in the world. Washington should definitely rip it off and become The Command.

The Washington Monuments

Via history.com

If Dan Snyder is anything like me, he appreciates a terrible pun. This would easily be the most annoying pun in professional sports history. I don't understand how he's able to resist.