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13 Existential Crises You Have On A Daily Basis

We should probably all just give up now. #nihilism

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1. If I'm gonna hit the snooze button 9 times, is it even worth getting up?

What does it even mean to be awake?

2. I'm saving this new outfit for a special occasion...but how special?

What does special even mean? Can it ever be objective?

3. If no one important saw me wearing said outfit, can I wear it again?

Do we ever truly live the same day twice? In this great universe, are any of us really important?

4. If I'm gonna eat it all eventually, why don't I just finish it now?

Down in one. #yolo #doesoneevertrulylive?

5. If I burp/fart/weirdly croak when I yawn and no one heard it, should I still be embarrassed?

(someone probably heard.)

(but does anyone truly listen?)

6. I've already taken off my pants...should I go out?

Am I someone who stands by their decisions? If I have to do it fully clothed, is it even worth doing?

7. At what point do I stop asking "what?" and just nod and smile?

Have I failed in the pursuit of knowledge?

8. Am I product of nature, nurture, or Disney?

Okay this one's alarmingly easy...

9. To jaywalk, or not to jaywalk

...whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer...or to just get somewhere half a second faster?

10. It fell on the I eat it?

What separates us from the beasts? I'm sure even Nietzsche had a three second rule.

11. If I tell the same lie so many times that even I believe it, is it now truth?

If I repeat the Wikipedia synopsis of Citizen Kane enough, I've basically seen it, right? Same goes for that expense report I said I did? No? ...but what is truth?

12. If I didn't post it to Instagram, did it even happen?

Memory is so fickle.

13. What do I value more: my money or my health?

Because you can only have one. If I'm supposed to be healthy, why are gyms and Whole Foods so damn expensive? If I wasn't meant to eat cupcakes, why are they so damn good?

14. As Jean-Paul Sartre said, "everything has been figured out, except how to live."

Oh well. Good luck out there.

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