3 Things That Are Ruining Our Society

Not global warming. Not Obama. Jenna Marbles, Pinterest, and Cosmo are the culprits.

1.

This Jenna Marbles Bitch

Ok so I’ve seen one video of this girl and she is funny, I’ll admit it. This is not the issue at hand, though. It is the fact that everyday un-funny/borderline retarded ugly weirdos think they can do the same thing. No sorry you will not become a youtube sensation overnight/at all. Jenna Marbles gives people hope that weird shit that you think in your little head is funny to someone else….awk for you cause you’re kinda not funny in anyway at all. People think someone wants to watch their bitch ass talk into a low quality webcam about shit that bothers them. Sorry nope don’t wanna do that. Jenna Marbles is hot, these creepo copycats aren’t. Typically to be funny you need to be super hawt or supperrrr ugly and fat/weird. As a disclaimer I don’t think I’m funny… I think think the dumb fucks/things that go along with them are funny. (okay i think i’m a littleee funny)

2.

Pinterest

Contrary to your belief, you are not a professional chef, interior decorator, or fashionista. I was skeptical of pinterest at first because my mom showed me. This can’t possible be cool i thought to myself while on the phone with her while pounding loko shots in my bunk bed. However, I decided in drunkenly check in out and i luved it. The next morning i popped a vyvanse and was in heaven. So much crafting! So many good ideas! Later on, I realized this site was a ruination. It makes everyone think they are so fucking creative and sooo crafty and sooo different. Thousands of people “re-pin” this shit everyday you are no different, sorry bout that.

3.

Cosmopolitan

I will admit I love Cosmo and devour it cover to cover. But there are some things in this monthly sex bible that are …….i wish i had a more clever word but…. wrong. awkward. To prove my point I will quote this gem I just discovered:

“6. Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body—his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.”

…..Pretty sure I would recieve a round house kick to the face if I started prodding my boyfriend with a fork, LET ALONE go near his ass. Cosmo is teaching our generating to freak the fuck out of our boyfriends.