21 Cocktails You Can Totally Pretend Are Healthy

Because drinking your vegetables still counts for something, right?

1. Kale-Ginger Margarita

We all know that adding kale to anything automatically makes it good for you. Recipe here.

2. Beet and Carrot Cocktail

See that sprig of thyme? That means it’s a salad. Recipe here.

3. Cucumber Cape Codder / Johnny Miller

Cranberries for UTI prevention, obvs. Recipe here.

4. Carrot Mimosas

Because if the carrots don’t help you see things more clearly, at least the alcohol will. Recipe here.

5. White Cucumber Sangria

Between the cucumbers and the mint leaves, you’ve basically met your greens requirement for the week. Recipe here.

6. 24th Street Spritz / Maxime Iatton

Hydration is really important in the summer. Celery is good, too. Recipe here.

7. The Dirty Mary

The salami garnish adds protein to an already vegetable-heavy beverage. Recipe here.

8. Chamomile Honey and Whiskey Cocktail

Nothing soothes like chamomile, especially when mixed with whiskey, amirite? Recipe here.

9. Cucumber & Green Tea Mojito

Metabolism boosting green tea means the calories from the sugar don’t even exist. Recipe here.

10. Red Pepper Martini

An appetizer and cocktail rolled into one: So economical of you. Recipe here.

11. Sweet Pea Cocktail

Peas and rum: Both will keep you young. Recipe here.

12. Celery Cilantro Cocktail

Celery actually has negative calories, so you can drink five of these and still come out ahead. Sort of. Recipe here.

13. The Retox Cocktail / Ganda Suthivarakom

Want to cheat on your cleanse but just a ~little~? Add bourbon. Recipe here.

14. Cucumber Mint Martini

Vodka kills bacteria. Honest. Recipe here.

15. Red Chile Martini

Spicy foods help burn calories so adding a chile means this cocktail practically never even happened. Which is perfect because after a couple, you won’t remember it anyway. Recipe here.

16. The Cucumber Cooler

Just another example of Anthropologie reading into my soul and giving me exactly what I never knew I always needed. Recipe here.

17. Pineapple Arugula Mojito

Practically an arugula and pineapple salad with a rum-sugar dressing. Recipe here.

18. The Pickle Back

There’s gotta be something nutritious left in the pickle juice, right? (Recipe: Shot of whiskey, followed by shot of pickle juice.)

19. Zucchini-Tini

Totally works on a raw food diet, too. Recipe here.

20. Cucumber Pomegranate

Antioxidants like WHOA. Plus cucumber. Recipe here.

21. Avocado Margarita

Oh hey, healthy fats. I almost didn’t see you there with my good friend, Tequila. Recipe here.

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