Here’s the deal: Anthropologie is delightful.
I am currently wearing about three things purchased from there, and my apartment features even more of its painfully adorable doo-dads. The brand gives artists a platform to showcase their work and provides aesthetic pleasure to millions.
But that in no way excuses the following.
1. When it attempted to sell us this Frankenstein’s monster.
Which costs 900 American dollars.
2. And this $4,000 ping-pong table shaped like Easter Island.
That shape should really make playing ping-pong a fun time.
3. When it suspended an army of teacups from the ceiling.
4. And a legion of brooms.
5. When it offered this $880 wasp comb made of glass.
It currently has a single one-star review.
6. And this “small neon wonky pot.”
Hovering just south of $200.
7. And this waterlogged tent.
It’s on sale for $7,000, down from $9,000! Bargain of the century, y’all.
8. When it saw fit to replace perfectly good clock hardware with feathers.
For a cool $250, of course.
9. And when one clock WAS SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH.
You might be late!!
10. When it sold these eerily lifelike woolen finger puppets, which originally retailed for $480.
Now they can be yours for just $240.
11. Also: this creepy hat and stand that is the stuff of True Detective-inspired nightmares.
12. Can’t forget this furry bench.
Which actually seems rad except for the $700 price tag.
13. When it shoved this poor inanimate hedgehog full of pencils.
15. When it declared that the single fireplace was so passé.
Wait, your hearth ISN’T covered in fake mushrooms? Peon.
16. When it saw fit to sell this $800 nonfunctional blast from the past.
17. And this 15-FUCKING-THOUSAND-DOLLAR IPOD STAND MADE FROM A HOLLOWED-OUT TREE.
It eventually got knocked down to $1,500, if you can imagine.
19. And finally: when this teapot just could not.
It’s $400. Keep doing you, Anthro.
h/t my mom for keeping an eye out for the most ridiculous stuff