1.
a corrupt cop shot my tamagotchi
2.
I know I wouldn't be a good father because child services took away my Tamagotchi on two different occasions.
3.
what do you mean I can't make my tamagotchi my emergency contact
4.
#MyLifeIn5Words tamagotchi tamagotchi tamagotchi tamagotchi tamagotchi
5.
Girl: "Hey are you doing anything tonight? Me: *checks phone, feeds Tamagotchi* "My schedule just cleared up"
6.
I remember the fifth of November... *flashback to me crying because my Tamagotchi died* I'll remember it forever
7.
*about to get shot* "No, don't shoot! I have 8 tamagotchis!" "......" "actually yeah shoot me"
8.
Of course the media have been bought by Hillary so they won't tell you about the tamagotchi she's kept on the brink of death for 19 years
9.
SAT: No electronics in the testing environment. Me: *Pulls out a Tamagotchi* If Mr. Squiggles dies, you'll pay dearly.
10.
[Joe Biden presses intercom] Tina, from now on I want my lunch wrapped in foil..like spaceman food. Also don't forget to feed my Tamagotchi.
11.
I tried to baptize my Tamagotchi and it died. religion is bullshit
12.
I'll never forgive the heartless veterinarian who refused to treat my deathly ill Tamagotchi.
13.
Biden is feeding his Tamagotchi right now.
14.
Just saw Biden check his Tamagotchi during Obama’s speech and Boehner snicker when he saw it was dead.
15.
dropped my Tamagotchi in the lake and now all my friends are dead
16.
hapy fathers day to my dad, who once asked me 'why are u crying' & i said 'my tamagotchi didnt wish me a hapy fathers day so it had to die'
17.
Going to jail because I've been claiming all of my tamagotchis for child tax for the past 10 years
18.
When you get to heaven, you have to face all the Tamagotchis you let die.
19.
Officer there’s nothing in my trun.. [hundreds of dead tamagotchis fall out. The younger cop vomits]
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