1. When you see someone drop their gum wrapper on the street, you think "Don't litter, you son of a bitch!"
2. You totally want to say to the lazy people on the bus: "That's fine, asshole, I'm sure your bag needs a seat too."
3. When you get into an argument and are *this* close to losing your shit, but don't want to, it's normal for you to say, "With all due respect, I'd like you to go fuck yourself."
4. When a clueless person cuts right in front of you, and you say in a calm and controlled manner: "Please, pay more attention, because I'm only gonna say this shit one last time."
5. And when you need a bit of help from your coworkers, you ask them: "Give me a hand with this crap, please."
6. "Excuse me, please" is just plain boring. Much better to say "Fuckin' excuse me."
7. Your polite way of thanking your friends: "This is fucking incredible! Thank you so damn much, you fucking wonderful human!"
8. "Do me a solid, for fuck's sake" is your version of "Please, if it's not too much trouble, could you help me out here?"
9. Remember that day you bumped into someone on the street and said "Sorry," but deep down you really wanted to say: "Get out of the middle of the road, numb-nuts!"
10. "Let's go now! Fuck... if we're late it'll fuck everything up" is what your friends always hear, rather than "Come on, guys, we're going to be late."
11. And, when someone runs a red light or cuts you off, you yell: "What the fuck are you doing you son of a bitch? You could get somebody killed! Would it kill you to respect people?"
This post was translated from Portuguese.