1. So all your single straight friends are on this new Tinder thing.
And not talking about it seems to be out.
2. And you’re a little judgmental about it.
3. But then you remember that you can’t afford to be an ass.
The thirst is real.
4. So wait, you can swipe past people you aren’t attracted to? And people can’t talk to you unless you like them first?
Step the fuck up Grindr.
5. So you download it. I mean really, what’s the worst that can happen?
6. The first thing you notice is that literally everyone shares your interest in Lady Gaga.
Pace yourself, tinder newbie.
7. A lot of people kind of hide their faces in their first picture, which is kind annoying.
Give me the option of rejecting you without having to look at your profile.
8. But when you see the rest of the photos on their profile, you can see why.
9. You right swipe a few (okay, many many) fitties.
Sometime you get a run of like, ten in a row, and it’s amazing.
10. And left swipe what seems like the entire population of the UK.
Has it really been three hours already?
11. An alarming amount of guys seem to think that duckface is the way to go.
12. And you notice quite a few guys with sentences that start “Looking for a girl who…” in their bio.
13. Oh, right. Their hilarious friends changed their gender preference so that they appear on the gay Tinder.
14. Kind of makes you want to do this.
15. But wait, what’s this?
Oh my god.
16. “It doesn’t look like there’s anyone new around you.”
Does that mean…
17. Yep, you’ve literally swiped through all the men.
It can’t be.
18. You’re not ready to stop Tindering!!!
19. But that’s your lot.
…what do you mean overreaction?
20. Nothing you can do about it.
21. …apart from widening your search radius.
But will it work?
22. ALL THE MEN ARE BACK.
Don’t leave me again.
23. And your clinically diagnosed Tinder addiction can continue.
Life ruining compulsion has never felt so good.
*PING* It’s a match!
Just don’t be too gutted when it isn’t Tom Hardy.
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