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16 Signs You're Too Old For Coachella

At a certain age, Coachella is by far the coolest thing you can imagine. Here are some signs those years are behind you, and you kinda really just want to shower and go to bed.

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2. You Keep Wondering How Secure This Astronaut Is

Seriously, though, what if that thing falls over?

3. You Don't Get the Hologram Thing

"Pretty sweet, but back in my day, actual people performed." -You


4. Dirt Isn't Fun Anymore

Though filth meant freedom to you in your early 20s, you'd just rather not anymore.

5. You Just Can't

Nope, I'm cool. Maybe I'll have a beer, but later.

6. You're Concerned About The Environment

"Who do you think has to clean all this up?" -You
"Who cares?" -Everyone else

7. Bad Weather Harshes Your Mellow Now

There was a time when you'd scream "BRING IT ON" to the approaching dust storm and dance around with glow sticks. Your new battle cry is "I just washed the car!"

8. You Think Face Paint Is Terrible To Deal With

You just want to scrub it off. It's all you can think about.

10. You Really Cherish Your Naps

No, you don't understand. I NEED my nap.

11. You Suddenly Realize You've Never Heard Any of These Bands

They're really young and really, really good, but you're just here for Outkast. Could you guys turn it down, like just a tiny bit?

13. You're Not Really Sure How To Dance At These Things Anymore

You give it a shot, but something feels wrong.

14. You're Worried About This Guy

You try to enjoy the set, but you keep thinking: did that guy eat enough today? Does he need some water?

15. You Prefer a More Intimate Atmosphere

Where's the band?

This is more your scene.

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