I'm Completely Dead Looking At All These Painfully Awkward Things People Really Thought They Could Sell On The Internet

    Hmmm. I don't think I will be buying that, thank you.

    Most of us have browsed through Marketplace at some point and stumbled upon truly bizarre items for sale, leaving us questioning the future of this beautiful experiment we call humanity. Here are some of the strangest things people have encountered while shopping online:

    1. A very gently used couch:

    A disgusting couch with many stains, for sale at $665

    2. Precisely one right (not left) shoe:

    Person selling one running shoe, misidentified as a left shoe, for $30

    3. A plate of lasagna about the size of a foot:

    A plate of lasagna with a bare foot next to it for sale for $15

    4. An unfinished baby:

    Baby doll leg for $300

    5. Four thousand pennies:

    4,000 loose pennies for sale for $200

    6. The most stunning mirror:

    Ugly mirror with foam around it for sale for $20, originally $40

    7. A beautiful painting of the Messiah chowin' down on a big, fat dog:

    Painting of Jesus eating a hot dog, which painter is selling for no less than $500

    8. A precision-cut dog bowl holder:

    Very roughly constructed wooden dog bowl holder on sale for $10

    9. A very functional, very stylish grill:

    Grill made out of a metal fold-up chair for sale for $275

    10. Literally just a bag of floss picks from CVS:

    Bag of CBS floss picks being sold for $5

    11. A ring coming from a beloved place:

    Ring selling for $200 with note, "Anyone want this stupid ring from this dumb mofo"

    12. The most terrifying thing of french fries ever assembled:

    scary french fries mascot

    13. A very stern gym:

    Gym bench press for sale for $200 with notice saying "Wait bitch" instead of "weight bench"

    14. Ornaments made with love and spaghetti:

    Spaghetti ornaments sealed with epoxy and for sale for $5

    15. A gem-mint 10 signed Bible:

    Bible for sale for $20,000 in Savannah, Georgia, signed by Jesus with "Nick, Keep on truckin', love, Jesus"

    16. A bunch of floor shrimp:

    Raw peeled and deveined shrimp on the floor

    17. The saddest sign to have to sell:

    "Will you marry me?" sign for sale for $75

    18. An absolute steal for a dirty, cat-piss-covered couch:

    Sectional couch with cat pee stains — "free"

    19. Joots:

    Vintage jean boots for sale for $20

    20. A Cheeto sold by someone with a firm grasp of the principles of SEO:

    Cheeto "shaped like male genital penis rare dong balls" selling for $999, with free shipping

    21. Big Simon:

    Simon the chipmunk statue selling for $2,000

    22. A choice we must all make in life:

    Marketplace ad selling a sectional couch reading "Corn or sofa," selling for 70 pounds

    23. A baby chair that's seen some things...terrible things:

    Dirty, stained baby chair selling for $5

    24. A literal rock:

    Tiny rock being sold as a fossil for $800, down from $1,000

    25. A bed that someone seemingly spontaneously combusted in:

    King-size bed with a mattress with a huge brown mark selling for $270, down from $300

    26. An expensive hornet's nest:

    $99 hornet's nest

    27. And Big Chip:

    Big potato chip selling for $50