Man, I Honestly Feel Sorry For Each And Every One Of These People Who Had The Worst Month Ever
Oh, you think YOU are having a bad day?
1.
The person who gave their carpet a beautiful shade of red:
2.
The person who got absolutely bodied by the Scrabble gods:
3.
The person who will forever be jamming with their friends out in Portugal:
4.
The person whose bananas went skydiving:
5.
The person who is apparently sitting behind that girl from The Ring:
6.
The person who got a little smooch with their meal:
7.
The person who was confused for a no good, rotten, dastardly lier:
8.
The person who got a free sock makeover and is somehow upset about it:
9.
The person who has apparently been tasting their cats dirty-ass mouth for lord knows how long:
10.
The person who will never get to feast on their precious little beans:
11.
The person who just bought the saddest PB&J in existence:
12.
The person who was lucky enough to get some protein with their jam:
13.
The person who finally knows once and for all who is the true #2 in this household:
14.
The person whose neighbor is apparently driving a giant heat laser:
15.
The person who will forever hold a grudge against the squirrel that did them dirty:
16.
The person who is currently on the front line of the Armadillo Wars:
17.
The person faced with Schrödinger's delivery:
18.
The person whose iced coffee is now the eternal resting place of this poor fly:
19.
The person who only has to wait a measly 19 years to get back into their phone:
20.
The person who got but a single berry on this cursed muffin:
21.
The person who was nearly swallowed by the most dangerous device in the world — the moving sidewalk:
22.
The 2022 Mosquito Award Winner for Blood of the Year:
23.
The person whose rat friends made it so they're now perfectly set for a long winter:
24.
The person who's going to be eatin' good at work today:
25.
The person whose tattoo is apparently leaking:
26.
The person whose dog might be an emissary of the devil:
Or maybe they just like paper. It does taste good, after all.
27.
The person who will never, ever get to find out what's in this box:
28.
The garbage truck driver who forgot how to garbage:
29.
The person with the whitest Jeep in town:
30.
The person who loves their dog very much, I'm sure:
31.
The person who had the old classic "Komodo dragon in the shitter" scenario happen to them:
32.
The person whose outlet is forever lost to the wasps:
33.
The person who goes swimming at the local pool with an infernal demon:
34.
The person who was straight up crunchin' down ants for, like, 3/4 of a cup:
35.
The person who cooked their waffles to the limit that waffles can be cooked:
36.
The person who seems to be getting progressively more and more hilarious things stuck in their drain at the worst possible time:
37.
The person who had the unthinkable happen:
38.
The person who gets to play This Little Piggy Went to the Market with a brand new friend on the plane:
39. The person who learned the hard way about the letter "E" today:

40.
The person who gave every person who saw their watch a little peek into their mind:
I totally forgot that having ‘now playing’ as a face on your Apple Watch isn’t just for music, but just the last ‘media’ you might have watched that day. It’s the new watch, too, the one that doesn’t turn off the screen. Cringe for me and the amount of customers who likely saw this today. from Wellthatsucks
41.
The person who's now going to have to ask someone's older brother to buy them booze:
42.
The person forced to deal with Schrödinger's chair:
43.
The person who now must shamefully put tongue to laptop track pad:
44.
The person whose freezer must've just gotten back from Antarctica with Ernest Shackleton...seriously!
45.
The person whose roommate clearly has no respect for their or others' behinds:
46.
And the person whose record just got snapped away by a certain thick, muscular alien we know and love by the name of Thanos:
Ah, yes.
47.
The proud owner of a brand new unicycle:
48.
The person who gave their window a dang super saiyan kai blast:
49.
The person who, 'fraid to say, might be the world's worst grower of watermelons:
50.
The person who's having their own personal Chicken Little moment inside their apartment:
51.
The person who will never eat a Night Baguette again:
52.
The person who apparently ordered their burger cooked well-gooped:
53.
The person who I hope likes their beverages nice 'n' chunky:
54.
The person who almost fell into the Netherrealm in their rental:
55.
The person who I hope likes their eggs with a heaping mound of pepper on them:
56.
The person whose floor shall forever be orange:
57.
The person who had a cascading rainbow of vending machine bad luck:
58.
The person who had a literal oil spill inside their office:
59.
The person who missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity:
60.
And the person whose friend just casually broke a million-year-old piece of amber:
Hmm. Not great.
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