If you had a rough month, just remember...
1.
The person who, but for a brief moment, was the king of the world:
2.
The person who took the biggest, fakest bite you'll ever see:
3.
The person whose wedding ring was squeezing the life out of them:
4.
The person whose sink shall sunk no more:
5.
The person who added a liiiittle bit too much salt:
6.
The person whose partner is absolutely toxic:
7.
The person whose burrito might just be the saddest burrito my eyes have ever seen:
8.
The person whose grill can't believe what they've done to those poor burgers:
9.
The person who got a beautiful view of some rando's umbrella at the function:
10.
The person who's going to play a rousing game of "This Little Piggy Went to the Market" with a new friend:
11.
The person whose pizza place is running a very interesting new promotion:
12.
The person whose pizza had a little more bounce to the ounce:
13.
The person who is going to have the opposite of a stress-free vacation:
14.
The person who will be picking out peppercorns until the end of time:
15.
The person who learned a valuable lesson in the kitchen today:
16.
The person who will be enjoying approximately one refreshing sip:
17.
The person who is about to have a very rude awakening at the airport:
18.
The person who ended up living a live-action Tom & Jerry episode:
19.
The person who needs to get their dang ears checked:
20.
The person who, but for a brief moment, thought their cheese defied all known laws of nature:
21.
The person who had the unthinkable happen:
22.
The person who made a very specific problem for future them:
23.
The person who burned their toast more than any toast has been burned before:
24.
The person who will now be forever trapped in a block of wood:
26.
The person who found a new friend in their chocolate:
27.
The person who was denied by the very thing they trusted the most:
28.
The person whose coffee got a fun new flavor:
29.
The person who had a great start to their day at the beach:
30.
The person whose pinky is screaming out for help:
31.
The person whose house got straight up cheesed:
32.
The person whose credit card fell into a place beyond what our simple human brains can comprehend:
33.
The person who had a bunch of raccoons crash their precious little party:
34.
The person who made a million tiny new friends:
35.
The person whose perfume is one with the angels now:
36.
The person who experienced true tragedy:
37.
The person who got a pizza I wouldn't even feed to that person who claws soap like an animal:
38.
The person whose burger had a little too much bite:
39.
The person who was kind enough to let a bear wait out the rain in their car:
40.
The person whose huge accomplishment was properly documented:
41.
The person who is apparently living with a 9-foot grizzly bear:
42.
The person who just got a free wrench:
43.
The person who better have milkshake insurance:
44.
The person who is about to play an exciting game of seltzer Jenga:
45.
The person whose AirPod went for a little swim:
46.
The person whose carpet got a cool, clean, fresh coat of paint:
47.
The person whose engagement ring shall engage no more:
48.
The person whose fun dinosaur balloon really, really let loose:
49.
The person whose large is more like...a smarge:
50.
The person who got a little added protein in their beans:
51.
The person whose mirror went absolutely nuclear:
52.
The person whose banana is crying out for help:
53.
The person whose home had this touching message outside it:
54.
The person who blue themself:
55.
The person who will never, ever be able to pee:
56.
The person who added a special blue seasoning to their burgers:
57.
The person whose apple pie looks absolutely scrum-diddly-umptious:
58.
The person who goes to the gym with the world's sweatiest man:
59.
The person whose dinner just got a bit more cronchy:
60.
And the person who now has the world's stinkiest car:
