1. One of these bad boys:

Via toponday.com
2. A man with a better name than "Pappy DreWitt":

Via pappylandpod.com
3. A handheld game as hard as this:

Via pinterest.com
4. Anyone ever climb the Aggro-Crag again:

Via fwrestling.com
5. A better team than these three:

6. Anything with a sweeter, more delicious smell than these:

Via tumblr.com
Beside brown. BROWN IS TERRIBLE.
7. More solid proof than this that magic exists:

8. A better substitute for cigarettes:

Or for medicine:

Just kidding, everyone knows that this guy was the best medicine for when you stayed home sick:

Via tv.yahoo.com
9. A more effective makeshift Frisbee:

10. A more stressful time in school:

Via math.about.com
11. A better cereal box prize:

Via pinterest.com
12. A cartoon character that required as much thought as this guy:

13. A movie that makes you want to taste a leaf more:

14. A better hiding spot than inside one of these:

Via sharenator.com
15. Anyone who thinks they're cool with one of these:

Via reddit.com
16. Anyone that gives more vital information than her:

Via funnyjunk.com
Or better advice than Mr. Feeny:

17. A greater selection of books than in these:

Via pinterest.com
18. A screensaver half as hypnotizing as this one:

19. Trix in the shape of fruit:

20. Another one of these:

21. A toy more confusing than "Floam":

22. A stranger way to chew gum:

Or a more misguided, confused bubble gum:

23. Any of these drinks in your fridge:

Or these foods in the grocery store:

24. A more effective way of collecting candy:

25. A scene from a movie that's sadder than this one:
Via tumblr.com
26. A game with a catchier theme song:

Or a game that tore apart as many friendships as this:

27. Anything more suspenseful than these:

28. A more groundbreaking form of art:

Or an even more groundbreaking way to make art:

Via retroist.com
29. Anything as terrifying as the clown from "It":

30. A commercial that actually makes you want to buy a magazine:
View this video on YouTube
31. A more effective way to learn how to drive:

Via failepicfail.com
32. Two twins that are more annoying than these two:

33. A more stylish way to travel:

Via sulit.com.ph

Via toysrus.com

Via twicsy.com
Or a better way to navigate:

Via stickam.com
34. Anyone go down one of these slides at Discovery Zone again:

Via Flickr: bfraz
35. Oh, yeah, and this:

Via Flickr: 32232877@N03
RIP