If you...
1. Ask questions like this:
customers really come up to me and ask “when this whole covid thing gonna be over?” Lmfao bro idk let me go ask my manager
5. Come immediately before close:
this customer walked in 10 SECONDS before we CLOSED and she had the audacity to yell “yay i made it” bitch you made what? made me mad?
6. And fail to see the obvious:
“Are you closed??????” no ma’am, we actually just decided to lock the front and start mopping for fun
7. Try to make things better by saying "I know it's not your fault":
Why do customers give ya actual verbal abuse for ten mins straight then go ‘I know it’s not you, it’s not your fault’. Yeh I know it’s not
8. Make this exact joke:
Item: Doesn’t scan Customer: Oh, must be free! Me:
9. Or this exact joke:
Customer: “working hard or hardly working??? haha” Me:
10. Say "you just lost a customer":
No retail worker has ever been intimidated by the phrase “you just lost a customer.” Like oh nooo we’re only gonna make $345,629 instead of $345,671. I’m sorry you feel that way about our store, would you like your apology letter in the mail, or hand delivered?
11. Talk all about how great it is to not be working:
Me: Customers: OMG it’s so gorgeous out today how are yous open, It’s such a fab day and yous are in here working, omg bet you wish you were out in that sun
12. Tell them your entire life story:
Working in retail was wild, people just tell you things about their personal life and you just stand there... Not knowin' how to respond to “I'm going to a funeral” or “I’m getting a divorce” like that sucks… $13.48 is your total.
13. But at the same time not extend the bare minimum of humanity:
14. Hand them money from your nether regions:
15. Put items back wherever you want:
16. Beckon them like they're a farm animal:
17. Forget that online and in-person are very different worlds:
18. Stand around and chat in the middle of a global pandemic:
21. Think the rules don't apply to you:
This morning, the young barista woman told me that a customer came in with a mask, but not wearing it. When she asked the customer to put on her mask please, the woman said: "Why? There's no-one in here."
23. Or, lord forbid, a penny:
Me: opens drawer Customer: oh wait I have a penny First of all, I don't know how to count
24. Stay way past closing:
25. And, lastly, if you say something like this:
I hate when customers say “Why do they have you working on Holidays?” because you’re in here tf
Chances are retail workers hate you.