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15 New Apple Products That The World ACTUALLY Needs

Today Apple is set to announce, among other things, a news subscription service and a Netflix competitor.

That's all well and good, but it's not what the people need nor want. What DO we need? Well...

1. HOW ABOUT

2. A CHARGER

3. THAT DOESN'T

4. COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY

5. FALL APART

6. AND TURN INTO

7. ROBOT SPAGHETTI

8. AFTER LIKE

9. TWO WEEKS???

10. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

11. IS THAT IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE? AM I MISSING SOMETHING???

12. I'M LOSING MY MIND.

13. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

14. GIVE THEM A CHARGER THAT DOESN'T NEED TO BE SENT TO THE GREAT USB PORT IN THE SKY AFTER, LIKE, 47 MINUTES.

15. PLEASE, WE'RE BEGGING YOU.

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