19 Things You Should Never, EVER Do In A Public Bathroom

    HEED MY WARNING!

    1. Enjoy six to seven Boston cream donuts:

    2. Present a tray of tots to the Rat King:

    3. Enjoy a solitary pear:

    4. Get a little barefoot reading in:

    5. Take a quick lil' nap:

    6. Rest your burger upon the hallowed ground:

    7. Play catch:

    8. Prepare your world-famous banana and bun sandwich:

    9. Rest your headphones in the thin layer of piss on the ground:

    10. Leave your retainer out for curious folks:

    11. Drop your fried egg:

    12. Crunch into a big ol' bag of chips while takin' a shit:

    13. Go trick-or-treating:

    14. Time travel to the 33rd century:

    15. Forget your spaghetti:

    16. Hold a service for your almighty lord and savior:

    17. Eat an entire package of raw fish:

    18. Forget your bowl of four fries:

    19. And be named Tyler and absolutely rip into some turkey broth: