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    65 Jokes About Math That Don't Require An Upside-Down Calculator

    Carry the one...

    1. “An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The bartender rolls his eyes, pours two beers, and says, ‘I'm cutting you all off. You should know your limits.’”


    2. Jeff Bezos' secret:

    "what's the derivative of Amazon? Amazon Prime"

    3. "What does the B in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B. Mandelbrot."


    4. Simple geometry:

    a pentagon, hexagon, octagon, and outline of oregon

    5. Everyone's favorite show:

    "sinefeld" with jerry's photo across a line graph

    6. "What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? Elephant grape sine theta."


    7. Going back to your roots:

    tree's roots above ground in a perfect square

    8. No one:

    9. Perspective shift:

    "turn the sadness into something positive" and i'm sad in between lines

    10. Fully functional:

    "stop asking y" and someone responds "f(x)"

    11. No longer at odds:

    "when odd numbers are added to other odd numbers"  and the meme says, "we're even now"

    12. A generational difference:

    the nineties

    13. The amazing diversity of nature:

    y= different equations and different cows

    14. Double-checking:

    someone questioning something simple like using a TI-84 calculator to do 2+2

    15. The best cheese:


    16. Everyone's favorite state:

    kansas and kansas -1

    17. How coffee is made:

    how coffee is made, f(x), f'(x), f"(x)

    18. "The volume of a cylinder with radius z and height a can be expressed as pi * z * z * a."


    19. The REAL answer:

    cos 789 equals -0.8959

    20. "My wife told me she thought that conic sections were the greatest thing ever, but I told her to stop being so hyperbolic."


    21. The important difference:

    space x with a rocket going horizontal and space y with the rocket going vertical

    22. Lots and lots of berries:

    how did they find 1,120,000,000,000,000,000 strawberries!

    23. Frowns upside down:

    someone turning their sad face text into a happy one

    24. The most perfect words in the world:

    no three words better than i love you and someone responds, "quod erat demonstrandum"

    25. Proper labeling:

    absolute vodka bottle and then vodka in between the symbol for absolute

    26. Epic arguments:

    two historical men using different equations to argue and go back and forth to insult

    27. "Why does 0 have such a hard time finding a job? It doesn't have a degree."


    28. Disgusting tans:

    a tan line graph drawn on someone's arm

    29. He has the right angle:

    hippotenuse  hippo

    30. Don't be obtuse:

    an acute angle and a drawing of a baby, "im acute baby"

    31. "What do mathematicians do when they're constipated? Work it out with a pencil."


    32. A math-scot:

    a transformer toy next to an equation

    33. A classic math thriller:

    snakes drawn onto a plane

    34. This one's a thinker:

    "your plan has been foiled" with an equation

    35. Scary moments at home:

    (a+b)squared saying fuck

    36. True terror:

    "terrifed of the vertical axis" "why" and then the person screams

    37. Test scores:

    the paper score showing square root of 144 over 150

    38. Everyone's favorite day:

    pi day march 14 and e day february 71

    39. You + me = we:

    "i wish i was your derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves"

    40. Coping mechanisms:

    me trying to escape my problems, f'(x) = e^x

    41. Aspirin:

    asprii dn = aspirin plus c

    42. A visual reminder:

    radius and diameter shown with star wars lightsaber

    43. The easiest problem to solve:

    oh so you like math? name every number? repsonds with an infinity equation

    44. A helpful Venn diagram:

    rap music and discrete mathematics venn diagram with the middle being the use of the phrase "for reals"

    45. Tomato, tomahto:

    3squared = 6

    46. Show your work:

    show your work

    47. Marvel's hot new movie:

    avengers n(war) n->00

    48. Pokemon math:

    pokemon math

    49. The beauty of nature:

    polar bear and cartesian bear

    50. The important difference:

    is 4 alot? depends on the context

    51. An apPEELing equation:

    sin(gerine) over cos(gerine) and a drawing of a tangerine

    52. "An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth begins to order, but the bartender cuts him off, saying, 'You guys need to know your limits,' and putting two beers on the bar."


    53. A *complimentary* angle:

    what's sin q/cos q? "tan q" you're welcome

    54. "Of all the primes, 2 is the oddest."


    55. No half measures:

    someone holding an oversized paddle to play table tennis like using a long formula for a simple equation

    56. "A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting in a street cafe watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First, they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, 'The measurement wasn't accurate.' The biologist says, 'They must have reproduced.' The mathematician says, 'If one more person enters the house, then it will be empty.'"


    57. "Why can't you grow wheat in Z mod 6? Because Z mod 6 isn't a field."


    58. Integratin' issues:

    "when you integrate by parts and realize you need to do it again" with a pic of an orange peeled to reveal another orange

    59. "Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine. Why was six afraid of eight? Induction!"


    60. Rivals:

    n and n plus 1

    61. Binge watching:

    binge watching from ep 4 to 25

    62. "What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? Silly mathematicians, you can't cross a vector and a scalar!"


    63. Shouting problems:

    "If you shout 0 loudly enough, it become 1. 0!"

    64. "Pi and I got into an argument. Pi told me, 'I'm just keeping it real.' I said to pi, 'No, you're being irrational.'"


    65. “Eight says to his friends seven and nine, ‘Hey guys, meet my new friend square root -1. ‘Seven says to nine, ‘Why can't I see anyone?’”


    This article contains content from Dave Stopera and Sam Weiner. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.