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27 Incredibly Clever And Hilarious Comments From Complete And Total Strangers That Absolutely Killed Me Last Week

Well, then.

1. On the 50 states:

"Tell me what state you are from with two words" Answer: From Connecticut

2. On celebrities:

Ask Reddit: People who've had sex with celebrities, how was it? "Great until they kicked me out of the wax museum"

3. On staples:

"Fuck iron supplements i'm bout to just start eating staples"; "What if your allergic to fruit?" "man what... i said staples"

4. On hikes:

"I think 'take a hike' is like the funniest response to someone; like dude just get outta here and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit" "ancestral form of touch grass"

5. On asking the tough questions:

6. On Canada:

"People not from Canada, how do you see the average Canadian?" "By traveling to Canada"

7. On deer:

Person posts a picture of their car with white splotches on passenger side door, with message "Deer were using my car as a salt lick" and comment: "'Deer: Where do you want to go eat tonight?' Other deer: 'Outback?'"

8. On attractiveness:

What remained attractive through all human history regardless of fashion and body trends? "Magnets"

9. On bees:

"i cant express how much i hate fucking bees" "then stop fucking bees???? it's really a simple solution" "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT" "Not after bee movie we don't"

10. On babies:

"Someone please quickly explain baby clothing sizes to me" "baby clothes are smaller than most adult or even childrens clothes; i hope this helps"

11. On embarrassing moments:

"Most embarrassing sex moment go" "Our grandma walked in" "OUR?"

12. On roommates:

"Sometimes the only way i know my roommate is still alive is the $30 cheese that appears and disappears from our fridge" "Mouse roommate" "rat behavior"

13. On the year 2000:

"people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now but they're not; that's how fucked up our world is now" "The older this post gets the funnier it becomes"

14. On capitalization:

"in elementary school, i thought the reason to capitalize the first letter of people's names was as a sign of respect, so i refused to capitalize the name of my fourth grade teacher or george bush because i did not respect them" "lower case (derogatory)"

15. On traps:

Cat is in a cage trap outdoors, with comment "my stepdad is waging war against a raccoon and his cat Sinatra is consistently the only casualty" response: "The cat looks so confused as to how this could possibly happen once again"

16. On spending time:

"In your opinion, what is the dumbest way to spend time?" "Sitting in traffic"; "That's why I stand during traffic"

17. On preparations:

"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you; you cannot exit your house; what is your strategy to survive?" "Go to the LIVING ROOM"

18. On cats:

A cat being held above an overturned plant pot with soil all over the floor, with caption "Did you just unearth a cat from a pot of soil" "the harvest is bountiful this year"

19. On posing:

Illustration of an orange tabby cat sitting up and on its side, with caption "my cat looks like this," and then photo of an orange tabby in the same positions

20. On goth couples:

"Every january goth couples are fucking hard to try and have a halloween baby they're gonna name ophelia or some shit" "i'm a Halloween baby but my parents are normal so I'm Garrett" "Hi garrett"

21. On atheism:

What are your views on atheism? "It's a non-prophet organization"

22. On success:

What's the one thing that separates successful men from unsuccessful men? "Success"

23. On cooking hacks:

"Incredible cooking hacks" with photo of a fish with what looks like toothpaste gel on its head, with "hack #1: the classic toothpaste on the fish," and then same image with caption "the mcfish is back" and comment: "how did this post get worse"

24. On fun facts:

What's a fun little fact about yourself? "I turned 11 on 11/11/11 Edit: 11/11/11 for the non-Americans" and comment: "That edit is hilarious"

25. On movies:

Reddit question: What movie made you walk out of the theater? "I walked out of every movie I ever went to see, usually during or after the credits"

26. On states:

Map of the USA with caption "Post a state without an 'a' in its name"; response: "Liquid"

27. And on lying:

What's the worst lie you were told as a kid? "My mom would always tell me I was the 'easiest physical birth out of all of the kids'; I felt proud until at the age of 18 I was told I was adopted"