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I Was Absolutely Dying With Laughter This Week At These 20 Internet Geniuses Who Completely And Totally Nailed Their Responses

Man, these are great.

1. On babies:

what's the best way to tell someone that their baby is ugly? answer: aw they look just like you

2. On mayo:

3. On $200:

if someone gave you $200 because you're ugly would you take the money? someone answers: absolutely, i'm ugly not stupid

4. On bears:

a bear wanders city hall in california and someone says, you can't put a bear on a state flag and then act surprised when it shows up for a town meeting

5. On cats:

someone asking if that's a cat or a sheep and person calling it a shat and a shitten

6. On new terms:

OP: weatherboy is derogatory. person: what does that mean? OP: wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

7. On hogs:

untapped infinte hog supply in the ocean, each state is lined with an impenetrable wall of swine

8. On language:

someone saying that many non-english languages don't have a spelling bee because the spelling rules in those languages are too regular for good spelling to be impressive

9. On reservoirs:

reservoir on the map is called prettyboy reservoir and someone comments, you get there and all the pretty boys look up from drinking and gallop away like gazelle

10. On aliens:

person saying they hope aliens visit when we're extinct and think our signs filled with jesus is coming mean that he ate us

11. On Bambi:

in response to disney announcing shooting a live-action bambi movie , was shooting his mother not enough

12. On history:

the most successful lie in history: i acknowledge that i have read and agree to the above terms and conditions

13. On thunderstorms:

someone saying they want to see a reverse lightening storm where it would strikes of pitch black during the daytime

14. On fridges:

in response to a fridge that will ping your phone if the door is left open: why doesn't it just close the door itself if it's so smart

15. On the human body:

16. On vets:

17. On technology:

windows 8 can suck my dick. person 2: i can't believe how far technology has come

18. On video games:

question: world now runs on video game logic, what's the first thing you do? answer: look at my stats to find out wtf is wrong with me

19. On boxing:

boxing is chess, not checkers and someone responding, pretty sure it's neither, mate

20. And on medieval times:

the number of you absolutely convinced you would have been convicted of witchcraft and burned at the stake seems statistically unlikely