Posted on Oct 12, 2023

I Know It Sounds Dramatic, But I'm Dying Laughing At These 27 Hilariously Awkward Conversations Teachers Have Had With Their Students

The future is bright.

by Dave Stopera

BuzzFeed Staff

Teacher to students: "So I can't tell anyone how the case is going, not even my family"; student: "Not even a baby?" Teacher: "Can you tell me why a baby would be concerned with this court case?" Student: Because babies can see ghosts"

Sixth-grader told their teacher their parents never had sex because it's against their religion, and teacher tried to explain the "celibacy UNTIL marriage" concept, and student kept saying "No, they're good people, they don't do that"

Substitute teacher accused student of wearing wireless headphones and told him to hand them over, then she asked him a question and he didn't respond; she asked why, and he said he can't understand her 'cause she took his hearing aids

Student learned the toy bull was anatomically correct when another student rubbed its penis and said "This is how you get the milk from a cow"

Someone farted in the class and accused another student of doing it; he told them he doesn't fart in class, and if he did, he'd go in the hallway; now whenever he leaves the classroom, they ask "Are you going out to fart?"

Students tried to guess their teacher's age and guessed everything from 29 to 89

Teacher asked new students to write one thing they wanted her to know before she started teaching them, and got a handwritten note saying "I take a long time to do a poo, my record is 2 hrs 15 mins"

Fifth-grade unnecessary morning conversation: "Student A: When I die and go to heaven, I hope I get my wings the first day; Student B: What kind you getting? I hope they got lemon pepper"

"When you ask a 1st grade class to write letters to people in a nursing home" with a drawing of an hourglass the the writing "times allmost up"

Teacher tells someone they had a kid lick the desk and say "It needs more pepper, do you have any?" The person says "Well, do you?" When they say no, the person says "That's one thing that you didn't expect to need to stock in your classroom"

Teacher asks student why they're wearing two backpacks; student says they have a goat in one; when teacher says "A stuffed goat for show and tell?" student says a real goat; teacher asks to see, the student opens the backpack, and there's a live goat

Teacher talks about middle schoolers licking marker off their binders to make their tongues change color

Student asks "Who is Bill Gates?" Teacher says "He was one of the founders of Windows," and student says "I like him; without him we would have bugs in the house"

Person says in first grade they wanted to grow up to be a bird, and one day their neck and arms were covered in red bumps, so they cried to their teacher that they weren't ready to become a bird, but it turned out they were just allergic to yogurt

Preschool teacher says their students are starting to use inventive spelling as they start noticing letter sounds, and shows a drawing with the spelling "WHOREA," which teacher explains is supposed to be "hooray"

Student starts counting to 30 before he starts running after other students; gets to 13 and then goes "14, 15, 17, 18"; other student says "You skipped 16! You need to learn how to spell!"

Letter from teacher to 15-year-old's parents: "I gave ___ lunch detention tomorrow for something inappropriate he did in class today; we were playing a review game and he gave himself the name 'Mass Debater'; a minor issue, but I thought you should know"

Assistant teacher talking about a teacher's birthday: "Today 28 years ago a very special person was born! Can anyone guess who?" Kid, 9: "Benjamin Franklin"; teacher: "Not quite! Any other guesses?" Kid: "Jesus"

Kid answers a trigonometry equation question by drawing an Uno reverse card

Student cut off the wires off their headphones to make "homemade AirPods"

Teacher texts boyfriend about a student who says you shouldn't wish for a million pounds, you should wish for a million wishes and then wish for one pound with each wish, and teacher texts her boyfriend, "That's the same amount, you idiot"

Teacher says they have a fourth-grader named James whose birthday is on Valentine's Day; his buddy laughs and says "I think we all know why James was born on Valentine's Day," and teacher says "Nathan, that's not how it works"

Teacher posts two photos of individual Flamin' Hot Cheetos taped to a desk and a computer, with comment, "To the student who keeps taping hot Cheetos to things in my classroom: why?"

Student had a writing assignment to "write about a character in a new, strange situation," and they wrote about a squid teleported to the forest and slowly choking to death, but shocked teacher just wanted an essay about a new school being scary

Student draws a figure that looks vaguely like a penguin and a triangle in response to the prompt, "Draw a pentagon and a rectangle"

Teacher asked kindergartner what his favorite season was, and he said "Garlic salt"

Student writes in Google doc, not knowing teacher can see it: "Uncle sam im trying to sneak myself into japan but im dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks is alerting the nations"; teacher writes, "This is not appropriate for an assignment"

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