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27 Of The Most Painfully Awkward Conversations In All Of Human History

OOF.

1. The elevator convo:

Tweet reading The elevator doors opened up and a guy walked in the elevator. It was just me and him in there and he said “I love you And I’m not rude so I said “I love you too
He gave me a weird look and pointed at his Bluetooth

2. The customer convo:

tweet reading meant to say hold on for a second and give me a minute to a customer and it came out as hold me for a second

3. The receipt convo:

tweet reading yesterday at target the cashier said your receipt is in the bag and i responded with you too so i've been dealing with that for the past 18 hours

4. The server convo:

5. The bank convo:

Tweet reading I work at a bank and this lady came in with a $150,000 check and to make conversation I was like "oh wow I wish I had one of these" then she deadass was like "it's a life insurance check. I would rather have the person"

6. The food truck convo:

Tweet reading I am at a food truck and this guy walks up and says ”I'll have my usual” and the guy working says “I don't know who the hell you are"

7. The number convo:

tweet reading DUDE AT PACSUN ASKED FOR MY NUMBER WHILE I WAS CASHING OUT AND I WAS LIKE OH SORRY I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED HAHAH AND THIS MAN LOOKS AT ME AND GOES I MEANT FOR THE REWARDS PROGRAM WHY AM I THE DUMBEST HUMAN BEING ALIVE

8. The cheese convo:

tumblr post reading apparently my mom is not even home and the person i hear puttering around the house is the carpet cleaning service i've been yelling grill me a cheese at them for 20 minutes

9. The crisps convo:

tweet reading just been down tesco getting a sandwich and some crisps and the lad at the checkout asked if i wanted to go for a drink i told him i've got a fellah and he said "no it's part of the meal deal"

10. The fist bump convo:

tweet reading 3 years ago a cute guy i worked with wanted to give me a fist bump. i thought he was pretending to hold an invisible microphone so i leaned forward and said hello

11. The Starbucks convo:

tweet reading i blanked when i got to the counter at starbucks and said "Vodka soda" and she said "huh" and i said "huh"

12. The family convo:

tweet reading my bf met my family for the first time and we were playing catch phrase and his word was boner instead of skipping it like a normal person he said something that bridget gives me right in front of my father

13. The Dick's convo:

tweet reading 
today, a woman came up to the register with 2 kayaks to buy. 
after ringing them up, i looked her dead in the eye and said “would you like these in a bag?”

14. The drug test convo:

tweet reading just finished a ncaa drug test i asked mr pee pee watcher what the largest penis he has seen at his job. he looked me up and down and said a lot bigger than that

15. The dentist convo:

tweet reading screaming just hugged my dentist thinking he was going in for one but really he was just taking off my dental bib. don't think i can ever recover from this

16. The TSA convo:

tweet reading i was at the airport and the tsa agent said scan your face down so i put my face on the scanner and waited

17. The cone convo:

tumblr post reading I MEANT to say "oh crap, I left my phone in my car," but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar," and damn, wouldn’t that have been embarrassing. but I caught myself. and what I ACTUALLY said was “Ah. my fart cone."

18. The salsa convo:

snapchat caption reading my teacher gave me back some papers and i thought it said salsa and i asked the person next to me why the teacher wrote salsa on my paper and then the person next to me was like um that says 59/59 not salsa

19. The neighborly convo:

tweet reading While I was out walking the dog,  I noticed a neighbour waving at me through their living room window. How nice! 
So I waved back rather enthusiastically.
She was washing her window.

20. The dressing room convo:

tumblr post reading today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said thanks and half of me tried to say you're welcome and no problem and i ended up saying your problem

21. The soup convo:

tweet reading ONE TIME I WENT TO HAND SOMEONE A BOWL OF HOT SOUP AND MY BRAIN TRIED TO SAY CAREFUL IT'S HOT AND HERE'S YOUR SOUP SO INSTEAD I BLURTED OUT CAREFUL IT'S SOUP CAREFULLY IT'S SOUP IT'S SOUP

22. The Subway convo:

reddit comment reading i once walked into subway asked for a "mootball feetlong"

23. The divorce convo:

tweet reading in college i went to a therapist for the first time and he asked me to tell him about my childhood. i got to and then my parents got divorced and he said and then your parents got a horse

24. The pizza convo:

Facebook conversation where a guy opens his pizza upside down and thinks it doesn't have any toppings

25. The haircut convo:

tweet reading Barber: What do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a writer, what about you?
Barber:  I'm a barber
We didn't speak for the rest of the haircut. I am happy to announce that I shall never be interacting with another human being again.

26. The library convo:

text reading i had to go to the library to pay a fee and i was practicing in the car between i have to pay a fine and i have to pay a fee and i walked in and firmly state i have to pee

27. And the dog convo:

tweet of a box with uno on it and a snapchat saying damn we need to play and the response is this is literally my dead dog

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