Once you start college, you'll learn...
1. Things will fly. Oh, they'll fly:
every high school teacher: that shit won’t fly in college that shit in college: 🦅🛫🦉🐝🦇🚀🛸🚁
2. Your schedule will be super, super tight:
4pm: Wow, I have so much work 5pm: *sleeps* 7pm: *wakes up* 7-11pm: *finds every possible way to procastinate* 11pm: THE AMOUNT OF WORK THIS SCHOOL GIVES ME IS SO UNREASONABLE, THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO GET EVERYTHING DONE IN SUCH A SHORT TIME. I HAVE A LIFE, YA KNOW
3. 8 a.m. is way too early:
4. Post-skip depression is real:
Y’all ever skip class and then have the post skip class depression? Like damn i should’ve just went
5. People really don't care:
a tip for everyone starting their freshman year of college soon: nobody cares about you. did u just trip in front of a few people? no one gives a shit. are u lost? don’t be afraid to ask a random person. no one cares. about anything. we’re all dead here.
6. Nothing bonds two people closer than a late night Google doc rendezvous:
When you see another classmate on the same google doc at 2 am
7. Your group will always betray you:
Welcome to college. Where every single person is smarter than you except for the 3 people in your group project.
8. Assigned seats are a state of mind:
High school: "assigned seating is so dumb" College: "why is someone in my seat? That's my seat...they know I sit there every class"
9. Sometimes, a 52 is A-OK:
My first college test I got a 68 and actually cried in the classroom. Today I got a 52 on an exam and I took myself out for chicken tenders
10. You're gonna live in mystery:
11. Every dollar is well spent:
“How do you describe college?” I’m teaching myself a class that I’m paying for
12. Professors will just straight up be on another planet:
our professor was 20 minutes into lecture before realizing 1. he wasn’t sharing his slides 2. he wasn’t recording the lecture 3. he had his computer muted so he couldn’t hear us 4. wasn’t checking the chat and 5. had his phone on silent so the TAs couldn’t get ahold of him hahaha
13. All the Wi-Fi network names in dorms will give you great joy:
14. Parking will be your number one enemy:
Parents need to stop encouraging their kids to go to college because there is just not enough parking to go around
15. Someone is always going to be more confused than you:
16. Not everyone finds what they're looking for:
How do people find their soul mate in the first 2 months of college it took me 4 months just to find the administration building
17. There are two types of professors:
18. Ya gotta take a nap:
me in high school: *goes to school for 7 hours, straight to track practice, then work* whose tired? not me! me in college: *goes to one class at 11am* welp, time for a nap. i’m exhausted. what a long day
19. "Office hours" has a flexible meaning:
College students be failing intro classes but still be making time to rewatch The Office for the 3rd time.... mf you worried about the wrong office hours
20. You NEED to be specific:
21. Sometimes, you just gotta leave:
Yesterday a girl walked into class with an iced coffee and my prof told her she couldn’t have it so she just walked out and never came back and I can’t stop thinking about it
22. It's the weird people who have it the most together:
In high school we judged everyone but in college you see someone riding past you on a razor scooter wearing a snuggie and it’s like “that is a smart man”
23. Liquor bottles are not a decoration:
to whoever needed to see this: throw away your empty liquor bottles, they’re not decor
24. The most wonderful time of year is also the most stressful:
going to school inbetween thanksgiving and christmas break feels like the last lap in mario kart where the music is all fast and gets really stressful
25. Professors are super straight shooters:
26. High school numbers don't matter anymore:
some kid in the library is bragging loudly about how he got a 35 on the ACT well sir I signed up for the ACT but forgot I did and missed the test and we still ended up at the same school how does that make you feel
27. Your dreams ain't comin' true:
The girl next to me is talking on the phone and says “my first day of classes as a freshman is over, isn’t it crazy that in just 4 years I’ll be working at my dream job” ....should I tell her?
28. Professors are one of two ways:
half of college professors are like “you can know nothing about me except my name” and the other half are like “and that’s why my wife left me! anyway what’s up with y’all”
29. The unexplainable will happen:
30. And passing is all that really matters:
Me in HS: yeah I’m involved in 16 clubs, have a 4.0 and I’m on 4 sports teams Me now: so good news, I’m passing
31. It's way better than middle school:
32. And most importantly:
