If you think you're having a horrible day, just remember...
1.
At least you aren't this forgetful:
2.
And at least you didn't turn your corn to coal:
3.
And, hey, you didn't stick your head where it doesn't belong:
4.
Look at the bright side: you still have your car:
6.
And you aren't about to take a huge bite out of old tomato:
7.
Think about the positives - your living room is dry:
8.
Your car didn't get a new paint job:
9.
And your mouth isn't full of ants:
10.
Think about it this way - you didn't get attacked by birds today:
11.
Or, uhhhh, you know, by birds today:
12.
At least you don't have a job interview tomorrow:
13.
And at least your professor isn't mocking your every move:
14.
And, hey, at least you didn't violate the floor:
15.
At least you weren't betrayed by a vegetable:
16.
Or by your own tongue:
17.
At least you didn't get fired just for trying to stay alive:
18.
And, hey, at least you're not Joe Turo:
19.
And if you ever feel bad, just remember: you didn't think million dollar bills exist:
