DETANGLING THE MISEDUCATED ON #TEAMNATURAL

Over the years I’ve come to realize, my “dramatic hair” is not desirable.

"That's some dramatic hair you got there," the customer tells me after taking an intense stare at my curls.


Excuse me, I apologize if my so called "nappy hair" makes you unhappy. Also, can you please not look so shocked when I tell you not to touch my hair? For the sake of everyone, don't let your curiosity (touching my hair without permission) get you kicked in the ass or cussed out. For years, black people have battled with being targeted for their racial differences, in particular their roots. So, don't be surprised if I tend to get a little emotional about my hair, but the weight of this fro comes from years of interrogation and my instincts tell me to attack the ignorance. Black hair is a fascination of versatility for many white people or non-blacks who aren't educated of the many states it can conquer. Don't think I'm going to excuse your foolishness, I'm not reaching for your two-in-one shampoo conditioner so don't reach for my twists. If you are unaware, touching my texture isn't going to simplify years of torment in just one feel and let me tell you why.


It was three years ago when my brother chopped off my braids, and I still haven't had much success with the conjured slurs on the topic of my tresses. When I style my hair, I'm not asking for attention nor am I asking to be bombarded with questions about my shampoo routine, but I'm styling it for ease. When I decided to cut my hair, it was done on the terms of welcoming my acceptance of self and not the whitewashing of beauty. As I replayed the customers voice in my head, I slowly tried to connect his curiosity of black hair to many sisters and brothers who share the same curl pattern. It's okay if you want to inform yourself about our hair, but you should be conscious that your compliments can sometimes hurt someone's feelings. Yes, they may be unintentional comments, but the white girl screaming she's natural definitely is not appealing. Taking the natural hair community's terminology and comparing it to your journey of a looser curl ignores the issues the black community face and our humanity. Sorry to tell you, but your issues can be brushed off because…………..hell, you're white.


Most will find that this issue is irrelevant and most would say that black people just like to complain about everything. However, this topic is very appropriate on the terms of cultural appropriation and acts of microaggressions that many black men and women have fallen victim too. There's no way white men or women hair stories can compare or be connected to those of the black community. Sorry white girl, but you taking out your Bumpit and straighten your straight hair is not considered a transformation to #TEAMNATURAL. Black women, and some black men like myself, have been faced with the cultural pressures to conform to the relaxer. So, don't try and tell me that changing your hairstyle is the same as enduring a chemical burn for the sacrifice for straight hair. Rachel Dolezal already attempted to get on TV and tell black women that they don't understand the struggles of being black, the last thing we need is a lesson from a white woman on edge control.


Over the years I've come to realize, my "dramatic hair" is not desirable. In my attempts to detangle the twists of what is more appealing to society, I've been left chasing an unachievable standard. It's so easy for a white man or woman to change the narrative of the natural hair space by simply appropriating it and taking it mainstream. Having those men and women apart of this movement changes the narrative from raising the consciousness of black people to just another hair trend. You may have all the facts about John Frieda, but you could NEVER tell me how it feels to have someone tell you that your hair does not belong in the workplace. So, if you're done trying to figure out if this is my real hair or not, I'm done deciphering your hygiene rituals with the Suave 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.