This Sunday, we are all going to spend the day watching the Super Bowl.
We will all sit on a couch. Or go to a bar.
We will all eat entirely too much food, and drink entirely too much drink.
108.4 million people watched the Super Bowl last year. Do you know what other days exist when that many Americans do the same thing at the exact same time? And when that much food and that much drink is consumed all at once?
Try Thanksgiving. Or Christmas Eve. Or New Year's Eve.
So the question is: If the Super Bowl is a mass celebration on par with those days — and if each of those days is followed by a national day off — why isn't the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday, too?
Honestly, ask yourself: What practical reason do you have to go into work or to school on the Monday after the Super Bowl? You’re going to be talking about the game all day, and re-watching the best ads. While hungover! Monday is a wasted day.
**cues Rocky theme song**
We deserve better than this, America. The Super Bowl is one of the best days of the year, a day for us to celebrate all of the excesses this great country of ours so reveres.
We shouldn't need to waste our Monday in a cubicle or a classroom.
It's time to take a stand. It's time to make the Monday after the Super Bowl a national holiday.
This starts right here, right now. Are you with me, America?