Regardless of age, we're all just kinda winging it, and sometimes that means we make mistakes. Recently, members of the BuzzFeed Community shared the mistakes they made well into their adulthood that they didn't know they were capable of making. Here are some of the most eye-opening responses:
1. "Moving in with two friends plus my boyfriend. Everyone always said, 'Don't be roommates with your friends if you still want them in your life.' I thought it would be so different, but I was obviously wrong. I no longer speak with my other two roommates and doubt I ever will, and unfortunately, my boyfriend is stuck in the middle. I thought I did a good job setting expectations and making sure everyone would be okay with each other before we all moved in, but we were, unfortunately, all living such different lifestyles."
2. "I couldn't believe I got addicted to vaping. For a time, I only vaped socially — whenever it was offered to me at parties or gatherings, I took a hit for fun. But over time, I found myself just craving the nicotine. I honestly feel ridiculous whenever I share this because it seems like I should've known better, but it's really a slippery slope."
—Stefanie, 32, Idaho
3. "I had an affair. I'll regret that for the rest of my life, and I still hate myself for it."
4. "I am somebody who has always been extremely careful when it comes to relationships. A couple of years after my husband died, an ex from years ago reached out, and we ended up reconnecting. Things went well, so we moved in together. He'd told me he was divorced, but a few months later, his sister told me that he was still married. He admitted it when I confronted him, but then went on to say that he and his wife had been separated for many years — he just couldn't divorce her because he didn't want to hurt HER feelings. I felt so betrayed and humiliated."
—Anonymous
5. "Letting an optometrist perform surgery for my cataracts instead of an ophthalmologist. My left eye got a staph infection, and now I constantly have double vision."
6. "I made the mistake of attempting polyamory with my husband of 17 years. We married young, so I never got to explore my bisexuality. Also, my husband traveled a lot for work, and having young kids, I was super lonely. I convinced my husband that getting into polyamory would be a good idea, but it was the worst decision of my life. We only tried for four months, but it was so traumatic for both of us. I ended up in an outpatient mental health program and was diagnosed with severe depression and CPTSD. Luckily, we were able to salvage our marriage despite the damage that polyamory caused it, and after a lot of work, our marriage is better because of it. I just wish we could've gotten to this point in less traumatic ways."
—Anonymous
7. "Allowing loneliness to cause me to become engaged to a narcissistic woman who had massive debt. Thank god I realized my mistake before our actual wedding date. I lost five years of my life with her, but that was a paltry sum compared with losing half of my estate in divorce proceedings."
8. "I'm 75 and a former lawyer. I got involved with drug use, got arrested, and did my time. My ex-wife is still a good friend, but I lost my marriage and was unable to be present for my two youngest children's childhoods. Out of my four children, I haven't been able to fix my relationship with my daughter. I am now a Christian and have been blessed with a new spouse. I'm actively keeping away from any type of habit that could possibly affect me in a negative way."
9. "Being a stay-at-home mom. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being with my kids, but unfortunately, I couldn't see into the future. My marriage is practically dead, and I'm so unhappy. I have no Social Security, no work experience, and no 401(k)-type of retirement. It feels like my options are work until I die or stay in an unhappy relationship."
10. "Trusting and helping infantile people who rarely did anything to help themselves. Even the people you think you love might lie to you, and that's why it's important to take care of yourself first and foremost before considering what you're willing to do for others. I didn't set up boundaries for myself, but after what I dealt with, I learned that setting boundaries is SO important."
—Anonymous
11. "I made the mistake of going back to school. I wanted to get a degree and prove myself, but I found out after wasting two years' worth of time and money that school just wasn't for me. I went during an already hectic time in my life, so maybe that's part of the reason it didn't work out, but I don't think I'll try again anytime soon. I honestly should have planned it better before going back on a whim."
12. "I married because of emotional blackmail. When my ex threatened to kill himself if he wasn't married by the time he was 30, I believed it. He believed that if he wasn't married by that age, then that meant he was a failure in life. I didn't love him enough to justify marrying him, but I obviously didn't want him to die. The year he turned 30, I divorced him."
13. "My husband and I mixed business with friendship. Long story short: Our real estate broker/banker and supposed friend took our home. My husband was a self-employed contractor who was building homes in his 'friend's' new subdivision. We didn't cover ourselves with a proper contract; we should have gotten everything in writing. The house we built for ourselves got foreclosed on because the other homes my husband built in the subdivision took too long to sell. Apparently, we were on the hook for a lot of compound interest. The thing is, we were unaware of this happening until foreclosure papers showed up via the delivery company of the bank my husband's 'friend' was partners with. We lost 20 years of hard work and savings that had been invested into building our family home. All just gone."
14. "Fully believing that my career took priority over other things like getting married and becoming a parent. As a woman who was taught by other women that I could have all and be all, I never pursued anything other than my own career path. I personally learned, though, that sacrificing the opportunity to become a wife and a mother all for a job is too wild a thing to do."
—Meg
15. "I got involved with a married coworker after he pursued me for a year. His wife would track him and plant recording devices, and she even hired a private detective to find out more about me. Although the wife kicked my coworker out of the house, whenever he wanted to come back, she would let him. Even so, my coworker would still tell me that I was the one he really loved. I believed him. We would go on vacations together, but whenever we did, his wife would follow us and make a whole scene. She harassed me daily, but I never entertained her wild antics. This went on for three years. One day, I finally woke up and realized that my coworker and his wife were just extremely toxic — even before I became involved. It was a hard lesson to learn in my late 50s."
16. "I allowed a friend to move in with me after he told me he was going through some financial hardships. I'm fortunate to be somewhat comfortable in life, so I told him not to worry about groceries or helping to pay rent so that he could use the time to get back on his feet. He had just gotten laid off and told me that he was in the process of onboarding at a new company. I'd known this person for years, so I trusted him to respect my space and time and just be considerate toward me. Well, two months later, I asked him how his new job was going, as I intended to ask him to start helping with the bills. He admitted then that he never actually had a new job lined up! So every time he said he was 'going to work,' he was actually just bumbling around the city and was basically manipulating and using me. I gave him some money and respectfully told him to move out. We don't talk anymore."
—Geoffrey, 43, New York
17. Last but not least: "I didn't fully appreciate my wife and express how much she meant to me. That's one of my biggest mistakes. Of course, there were speed bumps in our marriage, but that's just life. Now that my wife is gone, I miss her terribly. It's too bad it took too long for me to learn this."
The human experience is truly a wild, wild ride. Do you have any mistakes you made in adulthood that you didn't think you would ever make? Have you ever experienced an "I should have known better" moment? Tell me all about it in the comments, or you can submit it anonymously using this Google form!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.