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    The 14 Unbreakable Rules Of "Hollyoaks"

    Life in the fictional Chester suburb is not as in other places. These are the laws of the Hollyverse.

    1. If you ever have inappropriate sex, you will immediately be impregnated.

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    2. Hang around the village long enough and you will develope hitherto undetected homosexual tendencies.

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    3. Seriously, at this rate there will be no heterosexuals left.

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    4. Do not mess with Tom. The child is invincible.

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    5. Murderers generally escape unpunished.

    6. The village is widely populated by former residents of Weatherfield, Walford and Brookside Close.

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    7. These two are going to feel really awkward when they realise they are actually father and son.

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    This is the sort of thing that can happen quite often in Hollyoaks.

    8. The dead rarely stay dead for long.

    9. Familial generation gaps are shorter than the UK average.

    10. See also this one.

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    11. A lot of people just don't get the bleeding obvious.

    12. Blonde women are either murderous...

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    13. ...or excessively virtuous.

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    There can be no inbetween.

    14. But when people aren't being murdered, everything is usually brilliant.

    15.

    With thanks for inspiration to We Love Hollyoaks.