18 Secrets No One Tells You About Dating With Autism

You think dating is tough for you?

1. Many of us don't start dating until later on in life.

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It’s not just things like driving and self-independence that take us a bit longer to achieve – the confidence to go out and start dating usually takes its time to come too.

2. But you don’t have to be autistic to go on a date with us.

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We’re actually pretty open in regards to who we’re matching up with. You don’t have to be on the spectrum yourself to be with us.

3. Traveling to meet a date is a challenge in itself.

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When it comes to dating, the travel aspect takes us some getting used to. But no one's going to stay at home with us on a first date, are they?

4. And we like to know in advance who we're meeting, so no blind dates please.

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The concept of a blind date is the worst thing imaginable for us. After all, we always like to know plans and what’s happening well in advance.

5. We prefer it if it's just the two of us on the date.

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We don’t like large crowds and we won’t like it if your friend tags along, so can we please just be somewhere where we’ll be alone?

6. Plus a quiet setting is always better.

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Give us a quiet romantic meal over a day out at a fairground or the zoo any day.

7. We often get twice the nerves.

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You know that first date feeling of butterflies in your stomach? We get that on a regular basis due to anxiety, so don’t be alarmed if we need to step out of the room for a breather.

8. But contrary to popular belief, many of us are sociable.

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Look, all I’m saying is to give us a chance. Some believe that all people with autism don’t know how to socialise, but we do. It’s just that we can have a different way of doing so.

9. Sarcasm isn't something we completely understand.

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Many of us are like Sheldon Cooper in that we simply don't understand sarcasm at all. So go easy on us, please.

10. But that doesn't mean that we don't have a sense of humour.

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It’s true that many people with autism can’t always take or tell a joke, but some of us can.

11. Not all of us are fearful of touching.

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Whilst it may be true that lots of autistic people don’t like their personal space being intruded, that doesn’t go for all of us.

12. We’re sometimes over-polite to the point of stupidity.

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Just when you thought it wasn’t possible for anyone to be more over-polite than the British, the autistic people come along. Don’t be surprised to hear us repeatedly saying “Sorry and thank you” to everyone in the restaurant over and over again, including the waiters, waitresses, and even the empty chairs.

13. If we’re being picky, it’s us, not you.

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Don’t take it personally, many of us just like things 100% the way we imagine them. We may have a lot in common, but if there's even one tiny difference between us then we may not be a match.

14. It takes a lot for us to make the first move.

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The idea of making the first move and asking someone out on a date is usually even more difficult for us.

15. We’re not all like Rain Man.

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If you’re dating us purely in the hope that we have exceptional gambling skills, well sorry to disappoint, but that just isn’t the case.

16. We can’t always tell how you’re feeling.

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If you think looking for signals is difficult, try being us. The difficult challenge of reading facial expressions is such a hindrance.

17. A change of routine is our worst nightmare.

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Routine is important to us. The commitment to dating can bring a change to routine which can of course be a challenge to deal with.

18. We have a habit of going over the extra mile.

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We’re eager to please, and even more so on a first date, so don’t be too shocked to see us making an extra effort. Flowers, chocolates, and dinner? You got it.