We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us why they decided to wait until marriage to have sex. Here are some of their responses:
Warning: The following post contains a submission about sexual assault.
1. "When I meet that person that’s hopefully my forever, I don’t want to feel held back by comparisons or mistaken encounters. I want them to be it for me..."
2. "My husband and I just got married! We had both had sex before, in previous relationships, but are strong in our faith and decided to wait until we were married for our first time together. It’s not a popular opinion, but 10/10 would wait again."
3. "I am shy and I don’t open up easily. I feel insecure and anxious a lot of the time. I didn’t want to open myself up to anyone unless they were willing to open up too. To me, marriage was the ultimate form of commitment."
4. "My religion is a big reason, but I've seen how sex with the wrong person can ruin your life: STDs, unplanned pregnancy, feelings you can’t get rid of..."
5. "I have been with my boyfriend for six and a half years and my main reasoning for not just having sex with him even though we're thinking we'll probably end up getting married is that I don't have the time, money, nor the emotional, physical, or mental capacity to get pregnant..."
"...And don't feel comfortable getting an abortion if I do (totally pro-choice, but that's MY choice). We're just taking the 100% safe route."
6. "I grew up knowing I wanted to wait...But one or two 'not-good-for-me-but-I-really-want-to-like-me boys' later, and I decided to have sex. Yes, it was fun. Yes, I liked it. But when those relationships ended, it compounded the pain of those break-ups..."
"...So much more than it had been in previous break-ups. I have since decided that the next time I have sex will be after I get married. Not because of guilt or shame. I’m waiting because I’ve learned that my heart is valuable and is worth protecting."
7. "I’m waiting to have sex because I’m a Christian and want to obey God...but also the idea of having to see more than one penis freaks me out."
8. "I decided in high school after making out with someone I wasn't attracted to just because of peer pressure that I wouldn't have sex because I was feeling socially pressured..."
"...It was a mistake and I wish I had waited to make out with the right person."
9. "My first memory is of being molested; that’s how far back my history of sexual abuse goes..."
...It went on for quite a few years, so needless to say, I’ve got a ton of mental disorders and a buttload of PTSD. I ended up waiting for marriage because physical contact itself is really triggering for me, so intimacy is a literal nightmare. The waiting happened because I knew no matter how much therapy I went to, having sex would trigger a ton of somatic memories and send me into flashbacks, and no way was I going to be that vulnerable in front of someone unless they wanted to be with me forever. We just celebrated our one-year anniversary and luckily sex isn’t as triggering to me anymore, but it was definitely the right call for me to wait until marriage."
10. "I attended a high school where a lot of teens became pregnant. While I knew that birth control worked the majority of the time, I didn’t want to take that chance. I wanted to graduate college and establish myself in my career before I was married and had a child."
11. "I waited until my wedding night. When I was younger, it was a religious thing, but then the reason became because I wanted to be able to say that I had only ever done that with my husband..."
"...Maybe that sounds antiquated. My ex sure thought so. He pressured me so much and pushed me to do things I wasn't comfortable with. Then I realized that if he loved or respected me, he wouldn't ask me to sacrifice something I fought so hard to keep. Once I realized, that I ditched him, asked out this really cute guy from church, and ended up marrying him."
12. "I realized a few years ago that I’m asexual..."
"...I don’t experience sexual attraction at all. I have had romantic feelings for some people and gone out on a few dates, but sex is such a vulnerable and scary thing that I prefer to wait until I’m in a committed relationship."
13. "I’m waiting because I believe that if my partner is willing to wait until marriage in a time where hookup culture is so predominant, it means our relationship is more than just sex."
14. "The reason I'm waiting is because I'm personally against birth control. I think it's great and people should be educated and have easier access to it, but I just don't want to use it."
15. "I'm a very modest and shy person about the way I look, and I don’t want to show myself to just anyone..."
"...I want to wait until I have someone who has accepted and loved me for all of the other things about me that will last a lot longer than my body. I’ve had enough guys take advantage of me to not want to sleep with anyone before we’ve both committed to each other more wholly as people."
16. And "because if the condom broke and I got pregnant, my parents would kill me."
