I admittedly only watched the first season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, but I still have not forgotten one troubling scene from the pilot. After her husband falls asleep, Midge sneaks over to the bathroom to take her makeup off, put her hair in curlers, and slather her face in cream. She then sets her alarm to wake up before her husband so she can go put her makeup back on and do her hair again — all under the guise of appearing effortlessly "perfect."
Thank god that show takes place in the 1950s and we're living in 2023, where people don't expect women to be perfectly "feminine" all the time...right?
WRONG.
Unfortunately, there are people out there who STILL think that women — especially those in relationships with men — need to meet the feminine beauty ideal at all times. This week, a woman went viral on Twitter for her views on this. She starts her thread by saying, "Your husband should never see you poop, pop zits, pluck any hair on your face besides an eyebrow, do a face mask, wax your bikini line, see you in an outfit you would be embarrassed to be seen in by anyone else, and a bunch of other gross, fundamentally human, stuff."
To my dismay, she continues, "Because your husband will inevitably see you at your worst anyway, and it pays to keep some mystery and act like a lady around him. My husband knows I go to the bathroom and I come out looking and feeling better. That's it. I like to keep it that way as much as possible."
But wait, there's more: "They have been calling them BEAUTY SECRETS for a reason. Do you want him to keep treating you like a lady? Then act like one. Just like your husband should be the person who gets the MOST of your manners ("Please," "Thank you," "Goodbye," "Welcome home," "I love you," etc.)...because you will absolutely also give him your worst over the course of your marriage. Manners and mystery are insurance policies against boredom and getting treated like a roommate."
I knew I wasn't the only one who probably had some heated thoughts about this philosophy, so I sprinted to the replies. Honestly, everyone stayed surprisingly cool while perfectly articulating why they didn't agree with the original poster.
Lol, to each their own but intimacy is being able to be 100% one’s self in the presence of another human and trusting that other human to be 100% real as well. Sorry my relationship is no holds barred going on 23 years and we are better for it!!
This person brought up the great point that face masks can be a JOINT activity:
I do face masks with my husband. Gotta keep his face fresh too! I’m pregnant, he will be helping me with my bikini line soon. I pop his zits. I keep clothes I like, not clothes I don’t. I see him at all stages and while mystery is good - life is still life.
— Coffee Meets Carnivore (@CMeetsCarnivore) May 2, 2023
This guy kinda threw some virtual hands, and I'm okay with it:
Listen, I'm all for waiting a few months to fart in front of a new partner, or putting on a sexy lil' number to keep things spicy...but if someone tries to tell me that I'm not allowed to talk about pooping or wear sweatpants in front of my future husband — whoever that poor man may be — they can kindly fuck off.
Ladies, can we please just support one another instead of imposing dated behavioral standards on ourselves and other women? The pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect is stressful enough.
Also, no one ever tells men to abide by ridiculous relationship "rules," so let's stop perpetuating the patriarchy. Thanks 😊.
