If you've ever had a moment when you said something unfiltered and immediately realized you made a huge mistake, I have some good news: You're not a total asshole, you're just human. It happens to the best of us!
But if you wanted to make yourself feel better about this super-awkward aspect of the human experience, a Reddit thread posted by u/CowsBeFlyin highlighted some really cringeworthy examples of this. Here are 17 things people immediately regretted saying right after the words left their lips:
1. "We were doing Secret Santa one day with my family, and someone got candleholders, so I turned to my grandma and said, 'Wow, who gives candleholders? Worst present.' My grandma had bought them. The look on her face...ugh."
2. "We were at my grandfather's funeral, and my grandmother was discussing the double headstone they had arranged. It would have both of their names, the appropriate dates, an airplane for my grandfather (lieutenant, Army Air Corps, World War II), and an anchor for her (nurse, Navy, WWII). My mom turned to her and said, 'Wow, I can't wait to see it when it's finished.'"
3. "Server here. A woman asked me what I recommended. I said, 'Middle-aged women usually like the salads.' I don't even know what the fuck is wrong with me."
4. "Forgot that my friend's mom passed away, then slipped a 'your mama' joke, figuring he'd laugh. That was a tall glass of nope."
5. "Telling my S.O. about a girl in high school and using the phrase, 'one that got away'...I mean, what the fuck, brain?"
6. "I said congratulations to one of my good friends when he told me that his aunt had passed away. I didn't even think about it, it was just a reflex. I immediately regretted it when I saw he started to cry because of it."
7. "I was in a public toilet, and someone knocked on the door to check if it was occupied, and instead of replying, 'Occupied,' I said, 'Who is it?'"
8. "I said, 'You're not that fat' when telling a coworker she was not as fat as another coworker. Turns out there is no way to spin that."
9. "My sister is a primary school teacher. She recently moved abroad for a new job. On her last day, I was drafted to help her move things out. Unfortunately, when all the children arrived in the morning, my sister nipped out to do something, so I was left alone with a roomful of small children. They were obviously confused as to who this strange man was. Thinking I would be funny, I told them I was their new teacher, since the old one had already left to teach abroad. It turns out that my sister hadn't told any of her class that she was leaving. After that, I was alone in a room full of small, crying children."
10. "Once, a coworker approached me excitedly to say that she'd just found out she was pregnant. Without thinking — having been distracted by my programming work — I said, 'Oh cool, are you gonna keep it?' Before I could even get out an 'Uh, I meant to say...,' she turned around and stormed out, never really talking to me again."
11. "When I was 11, I called my teacher a bastard when I thought he wasn't listening. It did not go well."
12. "My girlfriend was having her time of the month, and I was horny. I said, 'You could still give me a blowjob.' So much regret right after the words left my mouth. The look on her face said it all."
13. "To my ex: 'Maybe we should take a break for a while.' Now she's dating a guy with a fancy car."
14. "After I had a conversation with a homeless guy, he wished me a safe trip home. I responded without thinking: 'You, too.'"
15. "When my dad confessed to my mom and me that he was cheating on her, I told him I was glad his father wasn't alive to see this. Makes me feel horrible when I think about it."
16. "I asked a woman, 'How far along are you?' She wasn't pregnant."
17. And finally, "A family friend and I were discussing how expensive prosthetic limbs are, since he has one. I said, 'They probably cost an arm and a leg.' Then I gasped and apologized profusely, thinking I'd offended him. But he just laughed, because it was pretty funny."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.