5 Reasons Why Trumpton Should Accept Immigrants: number 5 will mildly titillate you.

So our friends over at VICE just recently published an expose into what Trump plans to do with Toronto, now that he has bought the city. Knowing what a generous, open and kind soul The Donald is, we have some suggestions that we’re hoping will convince Mr. Trump to allow for immigration into his great nation of Trumpton.

1.

Unsurprisingly, over 50% of Toronto's population is comprised of immigrants. What do you have to say to that?

2.

Amongst his many questionable comments, Trump once boasted that he was so ahead in the polls that he could “shoot people and I wouldn’t lose voters”. We’re going to take a big risk and propose that he might. In that case, he will need more supporters in Trumpton.

3.

While Trump has a clear appreciation for the smooth moves from Hotline Bling, he should remember that back when he was a US citizen, he was appreciating the heathen dulcet tones of an immigrant from north of the border:

4.

Despite the allegations to the contrary, you’ve repeatedly told us that you are in fact a nice guy, Mr. Trump. Do the right thing and be a nice guy. If you do, we’ll forgive the obnoxious tweets

5.

Brain drain is a real issue. You said it yourself, Mr. Trump. You even gesticulated to your temple to make sure that all of us understood that you meant the brain that lies within the cranium, and not anywhere else. Thank you for clarifying. We hope you’ll make full use of your brains on this one too.