danielf11

1. Five things that are absolutely true about me: 1. I was voted "Mr. Congeniality" by the Class of 1993 at Des Moines East High School. I'd like to think my classmates had a profound sense of irony, but the truth is I don't think they knew what "congeniality" meant. 2. Drake University is the one institution in all my life that has always rewarded my unflinching faith in it and my association with that school is the proudest accomplishment of my life. If I were rich, I would give them assloads of money without hesitation. 3. I love being a newspaper reporter so much it scares me. I work for the only newspaper I ever wanted to work for, The Des Moines Register, and despite the doom clouds on the horizon for all of newspapers, I will hang on desperately until the bitter end when they tear the notebook from my hands and rip my phone out of the wall socket. 4. I believe Lynda Carter, TV's "Wonder Woman," is the most beautiful woman who ever lived. I insist that all women in serious relationships with me agree to a "Lynda Carter Exemption" – that is, if I ever have the opportunity to have sex with Lynda Carter, no matter how old she is or what she looks like, I am allowed to do so without penalty. I have this fantasy because I think it would be awesome, at the end of my life, when I'm dying in some county hospital with the colostomy bag and catheter hooked up, to have the last thought go through my mind that no matter how horrible life was, "at least I got to fuck Wonder Woman." 5. I love movies. They are my favorite non-sexual thing to do. I own more than 200 on DVD, not including TV series. They are our cultural language. When you ask someone if they've seen a movie, you're not asking them if they've spent money to see moving pictures. You're asking them if they have the same experiences that you have had – if you speak the same language. As Roger Ebert says, "Never marry someone who doesn't like the same movies as you." 2. Five confusing things about me that I hate to tell new people in my life because it seems like so much baggage: 1. I have two sets of parents. One set is dead. The other lives a quiet retired life on Des Moines' east side. 2. I was once fired for blogging and nearly ended my career, yet now I am paid to blog as a part of my job. 3. I grew up in both a small town (Winterset, fourth grade through most of my sophomore year) and a city (Des Moines from last quarter of my sophomore year to present.) 4. I take three kinds of medicine to control chronic depression and general anxiety disorder. 5. All of my nephews and my niece are older than me.

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