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This Is What It's Like To Watch "Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1" For The First Time

So many fields. So many tears.

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BuzzFeed / Warner Bros.

For the past couple of months, I've been watching the Harry Potter films for the first time. This week I watched Deathly Hallows: Part 1, and tweeted my thoughts.

If this is your first time with my first time, start here. We'll wait.
Warner Bros.

If this is your first time with my first time, start here. We'll wait.

I’m about to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 for the first time… here we go. #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

I’m about to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 for the first time… here we go. #finallywatchingHP

3:33 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

The film opens with the Minister for Magic making a passionate speech about something.

Oh hai, Bill Nighy!
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Oh hai, Bill Nighy!

Hermione uses a memory charm on her parents, erasing herself from their memories for their safety.

Well, that's an incredibly sad start to things.
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Well, that's an incredibly sad start to things.

Harry says a far less sentimental goodbye to the Dursleys.

"Later, fuckers!"
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"Later, fuckers!"

Ron just has some dinner or something.

*hums the theme tune*
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*hums the theme tune*

Snape goes to tea with Voldemort and friends.

"Ooh, what's for dinner? Smells great."
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"Ooh, what's for dinner? Smells great."

"I have no fucking idea, Severus."

"I can't smell anything."
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"I can't smell anything."

Voldemort needs a new wand, because his can't kill Harry for some reason.

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Voldemort softly stroking Luscious Locks’ wand #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

Voldemort softly stroking Luscious Locks’ wand #finallywatchingHP

3:43 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

He uses the wand to kill the Muggle Studies teacher from Hogwarts, and then feeds her to his snake.

Just like the Discovery Channel!
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Just like the Discovery Channel!

Meanwhile, the gang goes round to Harry's house for cuddles.

"I fucking love cuddles."
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"I fucking love cuddles."

The Order of the Phoenix turns up with a plan to smuggle Harry to safety: Plot Juice Potion!

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We need more Potters… Pottermore you might say. #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

We need more Potters… Pottermore you might say. #finallywatchingHP

3:49 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

The gang teams up in pairs, one Harry with each member of the Order, to throw the Death Eaters off the scent.

Harry goes with Giant Robbie Coltrane, because there's always time for sentimentality when your life is in danger.
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Harry goes with Giant Robbie Coltrane, because there's always time for sentimentality when your life is in danger.

But it's a trap!

The Death Eaters are waiting for them in clouds.
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The Death Eaters are waiting for them in clouds.

Hedwig tries to protect Harry, but she is hit by a killing curse.

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What! Oh no. RIP Hedwig. GODDAMN YOU, ROWLING! #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

What! Oh no. RIP Hedwig. GODDAMN YOU, ROWLING! #finallywatchingHP

4:03 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Voldemort attacks Harry, but luckily his new wand is shit and it explodes, allowing Harry to escape.

That’s what you get for messing with other people’s wands. Silly Voldemort.
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That’s what you get for messing with other people’s wands. Silly Voldemort.

Back at the Weasleys', Lupin grabs Harry and tests him with a question.

"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
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"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

"What do you mean? African or European swallow?"

"I don't know that. Alright, fuck it, I believe you are you."
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"I don't know that. Alright, fuck it, I believe you are you."

Harry and Ron talk about Horcruxes in a field.

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“We have to find the Horcruxes.. where are they? Where do we start?” – Ron, on plot duty #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

“We have to find the Horcruxes.. where are they? Where do we start?” – Ron, on plot duty #finallywatchingHP

4:00 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

The Minister for Magic rocks up to read Gambondore's will. Because that's what Ministers do.

#Bilius
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#Bilius

Ron gets Gambondore's Deluminator, Hermione gets a book, obviously, and Harry gets...a snitch?

Harry looks like a kid at Christmas who got a shit present.
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Harry looks like a kid at Christmas who got a shit present.

Wedding!

Fleur Delacour! Bill Weasley, you sly dog.
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Fleur Delacour! Bill Weasley, you sly dog.

At the reception, Harry meets Luna's dad, Xenophilius Lovegood, who is played by Rhys Ifans and sounds like he named himself.

"From this day forth, Nigel Lovegood is no more. You may call me...Xenophilius!"
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"From this day forth, Nigel Lovegood is no more. You may call me...Xenophilius!"

And then Harry gets stuck at a table with old people.

Pictured: me at every wedding ever.
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Pictured: me at every wedding ever.

Oh yes, plot: Death Eaters attack the wedding, and Hermione apparates them to Shaftsbury Avenue.

Believe it or not.
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Believe it or not.

Looking for a place to hide, they head to Sirius' house.

It's scary as fuck, so everyone hides behind Hermione. Because boss witch.
Warner Bros.

It's scary as fuck, so everyone hides behind Hermione. Because boss witch.

Kreacher is there, and tells them that Regulus did indeed have the real Horcrux, but that someone stole it.

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Kreacher is like the drunk racist uncle that your parents don’t invite round for dinner anymore #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

Kreacher is like the drunk racist uncle that your parents don’t invite round for dinner anymore #finallywatchingHP

4:28 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Meanwhile the Death Eaters are out looking for Harry.

General Zod stops the Hogwarts Express.
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General Zod stops the Hogwarts Express.

Neville tells him to fuck off.

#Wood4Neville
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#Wood4Neville

Also at some point Bill Nighy was killed and the new Minister for Magic looks like a shit magician/MRA.

Shave it off, pal.
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Shave it off, pal.

Umbridge is there, giggling like a psychotic Jigglypuff.

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Nothing makes the blood boil quite like an Umbridge giggle. #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

Nothing makes the blood boil quite like an Umbridge giggle. #finallywatchingHP

4:29 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

At the Black House, Hermione is teaching Ron how to press the right keys.

"Be a bit gentler. I like it when you're gentle."
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"Be a bit gentler. I like it when you're gentle."

Kreacher reappears, having tracked down and captured the thief of the locket, Mundungus Fletcher.

And Dobby helped!
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And Dobby helped!

Mundungus, the Del Boy of Diagon Alley, said he had the locket, but that a witch from the Ministry confiscated it.

"Which witch?!"
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"Which witch?!"

"Coincidentally, that's her right there, on the front of this newspaper that you happen to have lying around."

"She looks like a sentient Sno Ball bent on setting the word on fire because she likes the smell."
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"She looks like a sentient Sno Ball bent on setting the word on fire because she likes the smell."

Time to break into the Ministry, courtesy of more Plot Juice Potion and three grown adults who are easily overpowered by teenagers.

*hums Mission: Impossible theme tune*
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*hums Mission: Impossible theme tune*

The entrance to the Ministry is via a toilet.

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I’m sure there was a Ministry meeting about the toilet entrance at some point “Yes it’s whimsical, but is it practical?” #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

I’m sure there was a Ministry meeting about the toilet entrance at some point “Yes it’s whimsical, but is it practical?” #finallywatchingHP

4:35 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

They find Umbridge presiding over an inquisition, the locket round her neck.

She's like a giant ball of cotton candy possessed by the demon Azazel.
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She's like a giant ball of cotton candy possessed by the demon Azazel.

Harry knocks her out and Hermione grabs the locket.

Take that, you megalomaniacal anthropomorphic carnation.
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Take that, you megalomaniacal anthropomorphic carnation.

After a quick chase they manage to escape, but Ron gets splinched on the way.

Ooh, you got fucked up, son.
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Ooh, you got fucked up, son.

"Hermione, wait. I have an important question: Are we out of the woods yet?"

Lol.
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Lol.

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry."

"We just got here."
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"We just got here."

The gang try to destroy the Horcrux, but it's not easy.

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Horcruxes: Harder to destroy than Nokia phones. Maybe they should smash it with a 3310 #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

Horcruxes: Harder to destroy than Nokia phones. Maybe they should smash it with a 3310 #finallywatchingHP

4:49 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Harry gets annoyed because Ron is listening to the radio.

"I hate noise, don't you get it? Misophonia is a real condition!"
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"I hate noise, don't you get it? Misophonia is a real condition!"

"And I hate the enforced gender roles perpetuated by our patriarchal society, but I don't bang on about it, do I?"

"Now take off that locket, it's turning you into a right douchecanoe."
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"Now take off that locket, it's turning you into a right douchecanoe."

"There. Feel better?"

"Yes, loads. Just one question: Are we out of the woods yet? Lol."
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"Yes, loads. Just one question: Are we out of the woods yet? Lol."

Then there's some fields and stuff.

Seriously, this film has more fields than a Sting set at Glastonbury.
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Seriously, this film has more fields than a Sting set at Glastonbury.

Hermione, remembering there is a plot to get on with, has an epiphany.

"The Sword of Gryffindor. We should use that. Because Basilisk blood."
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"The Sword of Gryffindor. We should use that. Because Basilisk blood."

"What."

"The sword of Griffindor, Harry! You stabbed the Basilisk and the Basilisk stabbed the Horcrux and the blood is on the blade and the blade can destroy Horcruxes."
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"The sword of Griffindor, Harry! You stabbed the Basilisk and the Basilisk stabbed the Horcrux and the blood is on the blade and the blade can destroy Horcruxes."

"Ohhhhhh, Horcruxes. Why didn't you say so."

"Stabbing them with the thing because of the blood and stuff."
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"Stabbing them with the thing because of the blood and stuff."

"You are brilliant, Hermione."

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“Actually I’m highly logical, which allows me to overlook extraneous details. But I’m also fabulous it’s true.” #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

“Actually I’m highly logical, which allows me to overlook extraneous details. But I’m also fabulous it’s true.” #finallywatchingHP

5:01 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Then for no reason Ron is all angry with Harry.

“Your parents are dead. And you’re really short. So there!”
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“Your parents are dead. And you’re really short. So there!”

He leaves and everyone cries a bit.

"I don't know why I bother. I'm too fabulous for this shit."
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"I don't know why I bother. I'm too fabulous for this shit."

Seizing his opportunity, Harry tries to seduce Hermione through the power of dad dancing.

"Nah, bro. If you dance like that then I'm not sleeping with you. I need some rhythm, you know?"
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"Nah, bro. If you dance like that then I'm not sleeping with you. I need some rhythm, you know?"

Harry makes out with his Snitch instead.

"If only Wood were here."
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"If only Wood were here."

With nowhere left to run, they go to Harry's birthplace.

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“Godric’s Hollow” “That’s what she said” Lol #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

“Godric’s Hollow” “That’s what she said” Lol #finallywatchingHP

5:13 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

“What are we doing in a cemetery, Harry?”

“Well, it’s a grave situation.”
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“Well, it’s a grave situation.”

A creepy old woman rocks up, so they do what anyone would in that situation.

Go to her house for a cup of tea.
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Go to her house for a cup of tea.

PLOT TWIST! The creepy old woman is a giant fucking snake.

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Never go to tea with an old woman. More often than not they turn out to be giant snakes. #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

Never go to tea with an old woman. More often than not they turn out to be giant snakes. #finallywatchingHP

5:20 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

"Snakes."

"Why did it have to be snakes?"
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"Why did it have to be snakes?"

Hermione saves the day, as usual.

#BossWitch
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#BossWitch

She apparates them to safety and sets up camp while Harry recovers from the attack.

"You've outdone yourself, Hermione. Where are we?"
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"You've outdone yourself, Hermione. Where are we?"

"The Forest of Dean."

"I came here once with Mum and Dad. Before I wiped any trace of my existence from their memories, of course."
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"I came here once with Mum and Dad. Before I wiped any trace of my existence from their memories, of course."

"Cool, cool. One question though."

"Are we out of the woo–"
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"Are we out of the woo–"

"No, Harry. FFS."

"That album isn't even out for another 16 years."
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"That album isn't even out for another 16 years."

Harry is on night watch, when suddenly...

...Bambi!
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...Bambi!

Harry follows the random Patronus to a nearby frozen lake, where the sword of Gryffindor is hidden.

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Maybe wake up Hermione before you dive into the frozen lake? No? Okay, cool. #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

Maybe wake up Hermione before you dive into the frozen lake? No? Okay, cool. #finallywatchingHP

5:29 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Harry gets trapped under the ice, but luckily last-minute Ron arrives to rescue him.

Gotta love a bit of last-minute Ron.
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Gotta love a bit of last-minute Ron.

Harry then lets Ron destroy the Horcrux.

"Kill it, Ron. Kill it with fire! Or, you know. The sword."
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"Kill it, Ron. Kill it with fire! Or, you know. The sword."

Back at camp, Harry surprises Hermione with Ron.

Surprise Ron is the second best Ron, after last-minute Ron.
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Surprise Ron is the second best Ron, after last-minute Ron.

"Hey! I just got back, and this is measly."

"Sorry I left you, I'm Ronald Weasley."
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"Sorry I left you, I'm Ronald Weasley."

Hermione is not impressed.

"You complete arse, Ronald Weasley. You show up here after weeks and the best you can do is a Carly Rae Jepsen pun?"
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"You complete arse, Ronald Weasley. You show up here after weeks and the best you can do is a Carly Rae Jepsen pun?"

Ron begs for forgiveness, and tells them how he found his way back.

"There was this ball of light or something."
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"There was this ball of light or something."

"Cool story, bro."

"I only fell asleep twice."
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"I only fell asleep twice."

Hermione reads the next plot point in the book.

"I want to go and see Xenophilius Lovegood."
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"I want to go and see Xenophilius Lovegood."

"Xenophilius Lovegood?"

"Why?"
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"Why?"

"So I can find out how he loves, obviously."

"I've heard he's good. Lol."
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"I've heard he's good. Lol."

At Casa de Lovegood, Xenophilius shows them his pendant.

"The Deathly Hallows. Just like the title."
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"The Deathly Hallows. Just like the title."

"I assume you're all familiar with the 'Tale of the Three Brothers'?"

"For the audience's sake, let's just assume not and show them this cool animation we had made."
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"For the audience's sake, let's just assume not and show them this cool animation we had made."

Hermione narrates the story of the three brothers, which is one of the best bits of the film.

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Shout out to Framestore for the incredible animation.

Turns out the Deathly Hallows are the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone, and the Cloak of Invisibility.

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Warner Bros.
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The same Cloak of Invisibility Harry's had since the first film.

After the story, Lovegood tries to stop them leaving.

"Sorry bros, they've got Luna."
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"Sorry bros, they've got Luna."

Death Eaters attack Lovegood Towers.

The gang manage to escape...
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The gang manage to escape...

...right into the clutches of a Death Eater channelling Adam Ant. Hard.

I'm surprised his first words weren't "stand and deliver".
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I'm surprised his first words weren't "stand and deliver".

They make a run for it. Not sure why Hermione didn't just apparate them out of there.

"Er... Hermione?"
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"Er... Hermione?"

"What, Harry?!"

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"Are we out of the woods yet?"

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"Not now, Harry!"

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"Are we out of the woods yet?"

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"Harry, I'm not doing this with you right now."

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"Are we out of the woods yet?"

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"Harry James Potter. You stop it, now!"

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"Are we out of the woods?"

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"Come on, dude. Really?"

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"Are we in the clear yet?"

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"Oh, for fuck's sake."

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"Are we in the cl–"

"No! OK?! No, we're fucking not."
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"No! OK?! No, we're fucking not."

"Good."

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Ooh right in the face #finallywatchingHP

Adam Ant takes them to see Luscious Locks, unsure if he's got Harry Potter or not.

Bellatrix Lestrange asks Draco to confirm if it's Harry.
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Bellatrix Lestrange asks Draco to confirm if it's Harry.

But Draco plays dumb.

"I dunno. His face is all fucked up so it's hard to tell."
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"I dunno. His face is all fucked up so it's hard to tell."

Seeing that one of the captors has the sword of Gryffindor, Bellatrix snaps and kills them all.

"Are you le mad?!"
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"Are you le mad?!"

"No."

"I'm Lestrange."
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"I'm Lestrange."

Bellatrix tortures Hermione.

Not in the good way.
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Not in the good way.

Meanwhile Harry and Ron get locked in the cellar, where they find Luna and the War Doctor.

Cellar enchanted. Lol.
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Cellar enchanted. Lol.

But then...Dobby!

"Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter."
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"Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter."

Dobby rescues Harry and Ron and they rush to help Hermione, but Bellatrix has other ideas.

"OK, now I'm le mad."
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"OK, now I'm le mad."

Not to worry, Dobby has a plan.

"Dobby came in like a wrecking ball."
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"Dobby came in like a wrecking ball."

He drops the chandelier on Bellatrix.

It misses, but Hermione manages to escape.
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It misses, but Hermione manages to escape.

"Stupid elf!"

"You could have killed me!"
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"You could have killed me!"

"Dobby never meant to kill."

"Dobby only meant to maim. Or seriously injure."
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"Dobby only meant to maim. Or seriously injure."

Dobby disarms Narcissa, further enraging Bellatrix.

"How dare you take a witch's wand! How dare you defy your masters!"
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"How dare you take a witch's wand! How dare you defy your masters!"

"Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf."

"And Dobby has come to save Harry Potter, and his friends."
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"And Dobby has come to save Harry Potter, and his friends."

Dobby apparates them out of there, but Bellatrix manages to throw a knife after them.

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They land on a beach, and it appears everyone is safe.

But then...
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But then...

The knife hit Dobby.

Harry runs to him and holds Dobby in his arms.
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Harry runs to him and holds Dobby in his arms.

He pleads for help.

But it's no use.
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But it's no use.

“Such a beautiful place, to be with friends."

"Dobby is happy to be with his friend, Harry Potter."
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"Dobby is happy to be with his friend, Harry Potter."

Dobby dies in Harry's arms.

Shit, this is so sad. I'm in bits just writing this.
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Shit, this is so sad. I'm in bits just writing this.

They bury Dobby on the dunes overlooking the sea.

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RIP Dobby. Dobby was a good elf and a good friend. #finallywatchingHP

Daniel Dalton@wordsbydanFollow

RIP Dobby. Dobby was a good elf and a good friend. #finallywatchingHP

6:17 PM - 12 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

To top it all off, Voldemort locates the Elder Wand.

It was buried with the wizard who had been using it: Gambondore.
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It was buried with the wizard who had been using it: Gambondore.

And with that...

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Well, this film broke me. I really enjoyed it though. I'd been told to expect a lot of wandering 'round in fields, but it never felt slow, and the direction and acting were superb.

We've lost so many friends now that I should have expected a death, but nothing could have prepared me for how sad it was to lose Dobby. He's just so innocent.
Warner Bros.

We've lost so many friends now that I should have expected a death, but nothing could have prepared me for how sad it was to lose Dobby. He's just so innocent.

Alexandre Desplat's score was another highlight. Now I'm just trying to brace myself for what comes next, and who we might lose. Can't wait for Part 2!

Until next time...
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Until next time...