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20 Hilarious Tweets About Celebrating Columbus Day

"If my kids ain't shading Christopher Columbus by the age of 5 I have failed them as a parent."

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Christopher Columbus is like the person that comments "First" on an Instagram post even though they're not first

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This #ColombusDay, remember the only Christopher we acknowledge is Wallace...

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If you're upset by illegal immigration then you REALLLLY shouldn't be celebrating Columbus Day.

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Celebrate Columbus Day locally! Check out an area store you’ve never visited before, and claim ownership of it.

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To celebrate Columbus Day, I'm going to wait around at In-N-Out, wait until they call someone else's number, and then take their food.

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hmm let's check and see how Ben Shapiro's conservative news website is celebrating Columbus Day... oh

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My child gon be the 1 in class tellin the teacher the Europeans & Christopher Columbus was a thief and a murder. &Ima have to have a meeting

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Columbus Day morning. Kids excited to see the bowl of tears they left out last night is empty, and the smallpox blankets are rumpled!

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When it’s Christopher Columbus Day but you know the truth & you’ve unlearned all the lies you were taught in elemen… https://t.co/OLufWIVpw7

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To be fair to the Rick + Morty fans, "getting mad about going on a long trip and failing to get asian sauce" is on point for Columbus Day

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Columbus was a homicidal syphilitic maniac who was too fucking dumb to realize he wasn’t in Asia. Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day.

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Today is the day #Columbus discovered he had a shit sense of direction and had no idea where he was. #ShouldveStoppedAndAsked

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Columbus Day as the discovery of America and not the murder of Native Americans is just white-washing history. Am I right Dove?

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Happy Columbus Day aka White Colonial Privilege Day of Genocide Denial.

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I went to the postoffice with 30+ orders just to find out they arent open b/c its "Columbus day" like the mf actual… https://t.co/Rc3VB9ihFA

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fuck u christopher columbus u entitled piece of shit imma skip school just cuz i’m mad not to respect u

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If my kids ain't shading Christopher Columbus by the age of 5 I have failed them as a parent.

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Everytime a Starbucks pops up in the hood Christopher Columbus looks up from Hell and smiles.

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