Huh, well this is adulthood. Waking up at the ass-crack of dawn and stumbling out of my room to the nearest Dunkin Donuts for my coffee fix before putting on my "I'm around parents" fake smile and waltzing into my school. Hiding at my desk sucking down precious precious caffeine before braving the public eye to retrieve my printed goods from the teacher's lounge. It was just last year this time I was getting my first "real job" after graduating college. I thought, "Awesome, one year down! Now this should be easy and I'm totally going to love my job forever and be amazing it!" So...why am I dreading waking up and going into work and hiding behind my desk and medium iced Chips Ahoy latte?
One of the hardest things of being an adult isn't paying bills (ew) or making your own appointments (double EW!) but being able to admit that you're not happy with the career you chose. I mean, who in their right minds at 18 years old can have the mental ability and peace of mind to decide how their whole lives are going to be shaped? The answer is, they can't. According to this article from the Huffington Post, over 80% of adults in their 20s want to change their career. 80%!? That's absurd to think that so many of our generation regret the field they went into.
It's good to know I'm not alone when I don't want to talk to Betty Sue about the proper technique to teach an hour and a half reading block or heaven forbid, use my lunch break to monitor the cafeteria for the heathens trying to start a food fight with abnormally floppy chicken nuggets. Chicken nuggets should not have more flexibility than Gabby Douglas...
But, if so many people want to change their careers, why haven't they? Because it's terrifying! It's straight up scary to think, "Oh sh*t I just spent 4 years and a lot of money to do one thing I didn't really want in the first place but I was running out of options and majoring in Dizzy Bat and Shotgunning is just not an option oh crap okay I guess I'll just teach. My parents were teachers I have a resource now, I'm good with kids okay great done. Adulthood here I come."
This is my second year post-grad and most articles I've found for post-grad only talk about the first year after. How to get a job in your field is a popular search item. But no one ever talks about the year after when you first start having doubts. There aren't many articles about all the self-reflecting and late night sob fests over your Ben and Jerry's coffee flavored pint (are we sensing a trend with me yet) that get you to the realization that this career isn't what makes you happy. It's just a job. A means of paying rent. If we have to be on this damned planet for a said amount of years, why shouldn't we enjoy what puts bacon on the table?
I somehow managed to be able to teach art this year as opposed to teaching a regular class my first year and it's a step in the direction I want to be. I want my life to be dealing with art in some way. Creating is what's most important to me and if I realize that now, just as I start becoming a real adult rather than later when I'm too old to change my path, that I will be doing something that is meaningful to me.
That's what really most important. Is what you're doing something you love? Something you're good at? Something you want to share with others? Is it safe and not harmful to others? Can you make a little money off it (as much as we all wish it to be true, Netflix subscriptions and takeout are not free)? Then think about what's best for you and work your way into getting involved in that field. Get an internship or apprenticeship somewhere and learn that field. Love that field, become that field.
Doing what you love and finding away to live off it is such a rewarding experience (at least I'd imagine so I'm not there quite yet). No more hiding behind desks avoiding those awkward hallway talks. No more restraining yourself from counting all the needlepoint cats on Martha's decorative vest. No more waiting your whole lunch break for a microwave that actually works while trying to avoid all eye contact with your students (if they see you eat they know you're weak and they'll use it against you). I'm trying to find a way to do what I love so that I'll enjoy coming to work, and who knows how it'll workout but trying is the first step to a hopefully much more enriched and fulfilling life.
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