The 16 Stages Of Watching The Bachelorette(s)

You've got your wine in hand, snack of choice, and favorite fellow Bach-aholics. Now you're in for a roller coaster of emotions...much like the 25 contestants.

1. Anticipation

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You've watched the teasers, read up on all the contestants even, and now you're ready. It's 5 minutes till the show starts and YOU. CAN'T. WAIT. You know this is going to be great and just want it to start already.

2. Excitement

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Chris Harrison. The mansion. The wet driveway. It's happening! This is going to be the best season yet. You still don't really understand how this whole two bachelorettes thing is going to work, but Chris has promised that this will be "the most exciting season yet."

3. Admiration

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Kaitlyn looks great. Britt looks great. Their hair is so shiny. Their makeup is done to perfection. Great shoes, Katilyn. Which leads you to...

4. Judgement

Who looks better? You think Britt looks great, but Britt always looks great. Wait, maybe her hair could be better. Kaitlyn's hair looks fantastic. You would've worn a less sparkly outfit, even if you were The Bachelorette. Correction, one of TWO Bachelorettes, which still really hasn't been clarified.

5. Confusion

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How the hell is this going to work?

6. Lust

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Man candy time. This is why you really tune in (on top of judging the girls' outfits). You decide whether you're rooting for him immediately, even though you pretend to keep listening to his "story." Whether his mom passed away, he has a cute dog, or he's a "Former (Insert Weird Career Title Here)," you knew you were #TeamIan as soon as he appeared on screen because he's got the looks.

7. Sympathy

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It must really suck for Kaitlyn and Britt to have to stand here and go through this stress and you feel for them, truly. They never thought their fairytale would start out like this, and you think back to all the times you've ever been overlooked or passed over for another person.

8. Discomfort

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OK, at first you were sympathetic, but now this is downright uncomfortable. You are cringing. What even IS the social norm when you're one of the two bachelorettes who is being ignored? Stare at the ground, stare daggers at the other bachelorette, try and act cool? You have no idea, but whatever is happening is NOT it.

9. Disbelief

You are just trying to comprehend why anyone would choose to/agree/allow themselves to be talked into driving up to a mansion to meet not one, but two beautiful women, in a convertible filled with water, on national television. Or to arrive in a cupcake....which leads you to

10. Lust...again

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because Chris, the dentist from Nashville, is freaking adorable. You don't even mind that he came out of a cupcake.

11. Anxiety

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So the girls are being voted on now? How much time will they have to get to know these guys? How can they possibly talk to every guy? Don't most of the guys already have an idea of who they want to be the actual bachelorette? Why isn't everybody sweating? You are sweating.

12. Embarrassment

This guy is schwasted. Also how thick is this Canadian pool car guy's accent? Anyways, you've been there. We've all been there, just not on national television. But sure is entertaining to watch. Also, you pick up on how without the drunk dude, there are an even number of guys left to vote...sly producers, very sly

13. Shame

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You start to wonder if you're a bad person for getting so much enjoyment out of two girls' stress and many guys' embarrassment but...

14. Optimism

There are literally only minutes left in this already 2 hour episode and votes are still being cast, but ABC wouldn't do this to you. You sat through 2 hours of this and you will be rewarded. They will tell you who the actual bachelorette is.

15. Unbridled Hatred

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How could they? You will never get those 2 hours of your life back. You will never forgive ABC for this. You take to twitter to unleash your fury.

16. Anticipation

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You catch a glimpse of season's teaser through your tears of frustration and catch yourself looking forward to the next episode, and the whole cycle starts again.